Call you? And say what? I just want to hear your voice, I am just thinking about you? All of those things are true, but it isn’t a reason to call you…. I already tried to ask you to a movie, but you didn’t want to. That would have been my reason to call. But I feel like you would just say no again if I called, or you wouldn’t pick up.

Why can’t you call me? Then I will at least know you want to talk. Why can’t you call me? Why don’t you? Why haven’t you?

I just feel like such a stalker. Ha. Well, seriously, I am always the one to contact you. You only called me once on Valentine’s Day in 2004. But I email, I text, I called, I wrote, I sang, I hoped, and all I get is silence from you.

Is it too much to ask that you call me? I want you to come back to me. That is my price for my heart. It has been on hold waiting for you to come and claim it, so why haven’t you?

I have been calling you since the day you left. And now you say you have been listening.

I guess it is a matter of pride, but it’s also more than that. I just feel like calling you again would be so lame of me. I feel like every time I have tried to reach out, you have sneered at my hand and turned away.

If you wanted to hear from me, you would call me. Or you would write back, or you would respond somehow to let me know that you did in fact want my attention.

I have never stopped calling you. So why aren’t you calling me back?

Why haven’t you come any closer? Why haven’t you reached out? Why haven’t you ringed my doorbell?

Can’t you see that I need you to do this for me? I need you to come to me. I need you to initiate. I need to know you are thinking about me enough to call.

Do you think it’s easier if I call or something? Easier for you maybe. But it isn’t easy for me in any way. It just makes me feel like I am once again asking for your attention that you don’t want to give me. You know I HATE calling anyone. And at least if you called me, I would know you wanted to talk to me. It sounds lame, I know, but I feel like every time I call, you can’t wait to stop talking to me. And my sister told me you don’t like it when I text. But calling means you have to talk. But touching doesn’t have to include that and we would still communicate. Your touch would show me much more than your words could ever convince me.

Just call and tell me you are coming over. That is what I really want. Your voice would just be a tease to me. I want to feel you. In my opinion, I am WAY past calling. I want kisses. I want to see your smile and I want to touch your face. I want to see you looking back at me so I can get lost in your eyes. The phone would just verify that we are apart still. And it would never be enough for me, so why bother. I want to feel your breath against my ear. Hearing your voice when you are far away would only remind me that I have been pretending you were by my side this whole time. If I call your voice would just ring the familiar pang to my heart that is my own echo. And the silence after words will kill me.

Don’t you understand that calling you would only remind me that you are still so far away? It would hurt too much because I wouldn’t want to ever hang up for fear it would be the last time I could hear you. I would become desperate to absorb your words. Hearing your voice would send lightning to my heart and hanging up would only suffocate me like quicksand. I know I would start crying if I called you. Just because I would know I have to let you go all over again.

I love you. Forget the phone. Come back to me. Show me that you don’t want to let me go ever again.

Comment! (0) | Recommend! | Categories: words are just words [t]