My life was really boring a few days ago, then it got very depressing yesterday, and today it's still-sort-of-depressing but marginally better than yesterday... I think. I've been really confused about some things that I've done, to say the least, and I'm not sure where I stand with the person I offended at the moment... Which isn't good consider just who it is.

To lighten my life I will, once again, spin a yarn for my betterment and your enjoyment.

This morning, I woke up and found myself in vacuous space that is... space. I was sliding down the Milky Way on a what I thought was a shooting star. I looked a little closer at my ride only to find that it was a lemonhead. The sweet goodness that was the lemonhead slowly dissolved in the Milky Way as I rode along and, when there was nothing left, I skidded on my butt for a few feet then drowned.

Being dead was fun, I realized as I drifted through space, but I decided I had better get back to normal life and go to school, so I began my downward plummet into the Earth's atmosphere. Being the great mathematican that I am, I calculated the correct trajectory required to land in my house but, being the bad physicist that I am, I missed my mark. I ended up falling straight into a wardrobe filled with, you guessed it, a mint-condition, steam-pressed, Elvis-signed pimp suit and a considerably less interesting caged monkey.

Since most of my clothing was burnt in my descent, I put the suit on and walked out of the pristine wardrobe, recognizing my ability to successfully phase through objects at will thanks to my great understanding quantum physics, and looked in the mirror. Aside from the still-smouldering, charred flesh that barely clung to my bones, I looked rather sylish. I could even go as far as to say I was "pimpin' ". (Oh god, that's a scary thought...) Then the owner of the house came into the room and stared at me with unbelieving eyes. He said, "No! You've defiled my monkey pimping suit!" It was my turn to stare at him with unbelieving eyes.

After a while, he resumed his everyday activities as if I weren't there and began to mime dressing in his suit. I coughed. He finished "dressing" and grabbed his monkey and started to leave. Then the man asked the monkey, "How's the Emperor's new suit, Bananafamarama?" with a tone that instantly told me he does most of the speaking in those late-night infomercials. I shot him a disgusted look and asked why he had work the Emperor's new boxers too. He simply smiled and said, "Well, since everybody's got something to hide but me and my monkey, I figured, what the hell, why not show him off?" I said I wasn't talking about the caged monkey. He said he wasn't talking about it either.

Soon after that, I was hit with a log and I got amnesia. Then I went home in my new pimp suit. I snuck in the back door and went to my room and changed into my dull, everyday school clothes, hanging up my new suit next to my old, rather worn one. All was well, so I got in the car and drove to school. On the way, I crashed into an airplane... but that's another story entirely.

Later, DS
~ I'm very suspicious of any organization that has a handbook... I've got my eyes on you Boy Scouts of America!

tomorrow... you should be walking into a store, namely safeway, to visit someone, namely me, and burst into a song and dance like they do in grease.
» jamie on 2004-09-08 10:44:18

hehe
awww thats cute!! lol monkey pimping suit it had better be blu..hehe *akward silence* ok then.....later cool kid!
» luvablemonkey on 2004-09-10 08:21:58

Only dare once again to make it!
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