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The cake is a lie...

Age. 45
Gender. Female
Ethnicity. YAHTZEE!!
Location Wyoming, MI
School. Grand Valley State Univ
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July 2020

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Random Thought Number 132: Who was the better Joker?
Sunday. 9.28.08 11:26 am
Heath Ledger's performance was subtle and nuanced; he was actually menacing -- downright scary, actually -- yet, as horrible as he was, you found yourself laughing along with him. Unlike Jack Nicholson, who was a sad, fat parody of himself at his peak in 'The Shining' or 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest'.

Regarding any supposed talent Nicholson may or may not have. He has only ever played one part... Jack "Fucking" Nicholson. Prove me wrong.

No, seriously.

You can't because it's true. He plays the same god-damned character in EVERY movie: a grating, sleazy, womanizing pig with a stupid, high-pitched laugh that breaks every window in a fifty mile radius. Thanks, Jack. Asshole.

Also, Michael Keaton as the Batman? Are you SERIOUS? He's a freaking midget!!!! A four foot tall Batman inspires NO terror in anyone, anywhere. However, it does inspire nearly uncontrollable laughter. (At least for me it does. Really -- that one scene where he hauls that dude up by his lapels and growls: "I'm Batman" -- I laugh hysterically for hours on end, until someone finally wrestles me to the ground and sedates me.)

Val Kilmer came a bit closer, but he was an asshole and he clearly didn't really care. Seriously, go back and look. You can see glazed look of bored disdain etched into his face in every frame of the film. He nearly screams, "I'M DOING THIS FOR THE MONEY!" Also, Jim Carey inspires a kind of hate in me that goes beyond words. It's the kind of hate that is pure... almost primal. And Tommy, Tommy, Tommy... oh... sweetie... *sigh* I'm at a loss! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, TOMMY??!! And then I start to pummel Tommy Lee Jones about the neck and face until he regrets his performance and offers up the ENTIRE WORLD a heartfelt apology.

I'd talk about Batman & Robin, but I'm not allowed to. Court injunction.

***Note to Burton-philes: Sorry, but I think Burton's Batman sucks. It's just an opinion and it won't hurt you. For really.

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