So, I was watching G4 the other day and they were talking about this game called Guitar Hero.

Basically, the game is a guitar playing sim and it comes with a pretty neat peripheral. It's a simplified guitar with buttons on the fret board for you to push in order to activate specific notes. It's all over pretty neat and I almost want to play it, but...

Well, the song list they have for the game leaves much to be desired. And I find myself sad because ...well... clearly they wouldn't have my favorite bands on them. I'd love to play the lead guitar for TMBG's "The Guitar" or even better, any of Keith's solos on any Stones song you could name. That'd rock hard core! But of course, they wouldn't have either of them on their game. The Stones are too expensive and the Giants too esoteric.

It sucks. Because I'd seriously bust a vein in my head if I could play the guitar solo for "Damn Good Times" or how 'bout the Eric Clapton solo in "Let it Be" by the Beatles? That'd fucking rock my entire universe. Dude, they don't even have "Stairway to Heaven" -- which is like -- the fucking guitar song to end all guitar songs. How 'bout "While My Guitar Gently Weeps", fuckers? That song is bloody brilliant. Okay, okay they're all from really brilliant artists that are expensive.

Wait, I take that back. They got "Ziggy Stardust", so there is NO excuse. And come on! "Godzilla"?!!! If you're gonna go for a song by the Blue Oyster Cult, get "Don't Fear the Reaper" for fuck's sake. That song is awesome! Jesus, some of the songs on there are fucking pathetic!! I'd take any Guns n' Roses song over "Sharp Dressed Man". Besides, ZZ Top isn't cool unless the guitar periph comes with that harness they use to twirl the guitars. And the Queen song they picked just sucked. "Killer Queen"??? WHY NOT BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY!???

WHYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE???!!

Why not Nirvana? They had some decent songs. So did STP. Sweet Jeebus, I'd even accept some Journey.

But Boston? I mean, if you're gonna go cheeseball, why not Motley Crue? At least they're fun cheeseball. And if you're gonna go bad cheeseball then go all the way. Pick out your favorite Chicago song, or better yet, why not the lyrically epic songs of Styx?

*sigh*

It makes me really, really sad in a profound way. I call No Way on Guitar Hero... wait, no, I call shenanigans on Guitar Hero. That's right. I called shenanigans.

And all I can think is, it'd be so much cooler if they had Accordion Hero. It'd come with an accordion and I'd be able to do all the accordion parts in the TMBG canon. It'd be awesome.

Can you imagine rocking your world, playing the accordion for "Birdhouse in Your Soul"? Even better, how cool would it be to play TMBG's one and only "Famous Polka"?!!! That'd fucking rock.

THAT DOES IT! SCREW GUITAR HERO! I WANNA BE AN ACCORDION HERO! I'M GONNA PLAY THE FAMOUS POLKA OR MAYBE ONE OF WEIRD AL'S POLKA'S -- TILL THE BRINK OF DAWN AND IF I HAD MONEY AND THIS WORLD WAS FAIR, I'D SO HAVE MY SHOT AT BEING AN ACCORDION HERO! BUT THE WORLD ISN'T! IT SUCKS, and now the world is filled with Guitar Hero and I hang my head in shame and sorrow, my imaginary accordion sagging in misery.

Man, it really busts my non-existent balls that there isn't an Accordion Hero game. That'd rule!

I went to a sad place with this post...

Originally posted: Noacat@Livejournal Brought to Nutang for your viewing pleasure... or displeasure as it were.

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