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MS Paint is Sexist
Saturday. 1.13.07 9:24 pm
DISCLAIMER: Just to clarify, the following blog is intended to make fun of the YouTube video below. I do not actually believe that women are inferior to men, or that MS Paint is a driving force for social change (the two positions that I take in this post).

Many of us here at nuTang are familiar with MS Paint as a simple computer program useful for such things as drawing island pixelpeople, and doodling while bored. We have used it as an artistic workhorse, intended only for the creation of doodled trivialities. And, in doing so, we have blinded ourselves to its true potential.

Do not make the mistake of approaching MS Paint as you would any other free Windows accessory. It's shortcut may be placed adjacent to those for solitaire and minesweeper, but those games are nothing compared to the raw power of MS Paint. It is, in fact, an engine of social discourse.

But how can such a small selection of drawing tools possibly be used to accurately express the underlying principals of our sophisticated society, you ask? Indeed, MS Paint is not a tool for the weak. However, in the hands of a true expert, a single mouse-stroke with the pencil tool can be as informative as 1,000 PhD thesis-papers.

Don't believe me? Very well then, I shall show you. At the bottom of this blog entry, you will find a YouTube video demonstrating the true power of MS Paint in action. Over the course of this short film, a leading expert mathematically proves the underlying theory of sexism with spectacular diagrams, brilliantly communicated through MS Paint. The evidence presented in this video is, quite simply, indisputable.

That's right, within a span of minutes, this MS-Paint specialist was able to overturn years of respected scientific research to finally prove once and for all that men are superior to women. Ladies and gentlemen (more importantly, gentlemen), what you have seen today is the beginning of a new era in world conflict-resolution. An era in which tough social issues can be resolved without the need for inconvenient debate and rationality. Over the coming decades, we can expect MS-Paint experts such as the one portrayed in this video to tell us the answers to such frustrating questions as "Is gay marriage morally acceptable?" "Should we vote democrat or republican?" "Which religion should I follow?" and "Why did we invade Iraq?"

That's right gentlemen. The messiah has come, and it is MS Paint.

Thank you, that is all.


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