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Tom & Jerry & the Jewish Conspiracy
Monday. 1.15.07 4:29 pm
It has come to my attention through reliable sources (The Iranian Ministry of Propaganda and False Accusations) that Tom and Jerry have been exposed as a ploy of Walt Disney to improve the image of Jews in Europe. I have managed to secure a video report, available at the bottom of this blog entry, which proves this theory beyond a shadow of a doubt.
That's right, those lovable cartoon characters (still visible today as part of Cartoon Network's afternoon programming content) were actually part of our conspiracy to take control of the world. You see, back in the 40s, Europeans were starting to call us Jews nasty names like "dirty mice". So, we figured that we'd take the lemons and make lemonade, and trick you all into thinking of us mice as cute, lovable creatures. To accomplish this, we commissioned Walt Disney to create Tom & Jerry. This wasn't easy, seeing as Walt was a known antisemite and all, but apparently we pulled it off.
But if Disney created the cartoon, then why was there an MGM logo at the beginning each episode, you ask?
Well, that too can be explained. You see, Walt Disney only wanted to pay the Jewish Conspiracy 5% of the royalties for Tom & Jerry, which was unacceptable. But since Disney had created the cartoon, he owned the copyright and we were bound by our contract to produce it through him. So, using the nuclear-powered time machine that Albert Einstein had secretly built for us, we took Disney's proposal back in time and asked MGM to produce it instead, in exchange for 6% royalties. They agreed, and Tom & Jerry immediately went to work seducing the minds of children and adults everywhere. It was a great success, and managed to usher in an era of peace and prosperity all over Europe throughout the 1940s.
And we would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those meddling kids...
Thank you, that is all.
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