I went to my gynecologist appointment today and got new medicine. I also had an assistant cancel on me at five in the morning. She didn't even call me herself. She had her mom do it. I'm sorry I don't care if she's eighteen, when I was eighteen my mother would not have done that. She would have said "If you are grown up enough to have a job, you're grown up enough to call out of it yourself." But I guess not all mothers are as strict as mine. Never mind that, I don't think I would have the nerve to do that even if she would.

Then I went to my gynecologist. She says that my vagina is atypical, meaning smaller than average. I didn't know there were width minimums for vaginas. When she and my neurologist finally figured out what meds I should be on, she called me to ask if I wanted to undergo this surgical procedure to scar my vagina.

This will prevent me from having children forever. While having kids biologically has never been a goal because of my back, odds are that if I tried to do it, my spine will simply snap. However I am not ready to completely undergo such major change. Personally I think, and this just may be me suspicious, that there was an undertone of the whole conversation as there often is in these cases that disabled people shouldn't breed. Not that I am much in favor of breeding anyway which I mentioned, but sometimes I think I should do it, just for defiance purposes as it would piss so many people off including some supposedly liberal doctors. However, I know having kids isn't a game you play just to piss someone off.

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