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Words of Wisdom
“In wilderness is the preservation of the world.” - Henry David Thoreau

"The more we sweat in peace the less we bleed in war." - Vijaya Lakshmi Pandit

"We can learn a lot from trees: they're always grounded but never stop reaching
heavenward." - Everett Mámor

"Humility does not mean thinking less of yourself than of other people, nor does it mean having a low opinion of your own gifts. It means freedom from thinking about yourself at all" - William Temple

"Mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life." - Sophia Loren

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The Nutangian Challenge part 2
Sunday. 12.16.12 9:57 am
I know I posted the first one on another blog but whatever, I'm still counting it as 26 so it's ok. :)

26. I know every word to "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown" by Jim Croce.

27. One time I placed 20th in a race, it was a 5k and almost entirely uphill and I'm damn proud of my 20th place lol.

28. I HATE the smell of concentrated dish soap, which almost all dish soap is these days. It's gross, it smells like chemicals, and I'm completely bugged out by how often it leaves a slight soap film that most people just don't notice.

29. I have insane sneezes. They're generally very high pitched sounding but they take over my body and are violent enough that I have bit through my tongue one time and fell down stairs another. My husband thinks they're adorable and I'm just like "Nooooo, I don't wanna sneeze!!!".

30. I love homemade apple cider! I make it every year with my own blend of seeping spices and if it's grown-up only I like to add a touch of vermouth too... Mmm,mmm good!

31. I have finally jumped on the twitter and instagram bandwagon because my friend made me a couple weeks ago. I mostly just like twitter because it doesn't have my "adult" family or any of my friends family so I can say fuck and other supposedly offensive things as I wish.

32. I love wet-setting my hair and I use my grandmothers GE hood dryer still to this day. It is literally older than I am and still works like a champ!

33. I was first chair flute in band for two years, then I quit.

34. I also play piano and I'm self taught. I learned how to play while going to work with my mom at a second job of hers. The first song I learned to play was entirely by ear and it was "What becomes of the broken hearted". When I joined band and learned actual notes I memorized it (As well as Ode to Joy) by the notes and I can still play both by heart.

35. My first celebrity crushes were John Travolta (as Danny Zuko and Vinnie Barbarino) and Jeff Goldbloom. I was/am strange.

36. College makes me cry at least twice a month.

37. I collect snowman themed ornaments.

38. I used to have a severe fear of Captain Planet when I was a child.

39. I also have a pretty irrational fear of monkeys/apes. One time there were people at the fair who had a tiger cub and a monkey that you could play with for a small price and I did it. I was snuggling and playing with the tiger cub the entire time and I freaked out and ran off when he tried to make me touch the monkey. Hahaha, that sounded dirty.

40. I have the best best friend in the world. I've always been envious of girls who have that one bff that's there forever and for everything no matter what but now I have my very own. One time she gave me her favorite bath and body work candle (which we are fanatical about anyhow) that had been discontinued because she knew it was also my very very favorite and she knew that I wasn't getting anything for mothers day. It may seem silly but it was one of the most special moments of my life and I still have that candle, though I try to only burn it when she'll be here to enjoy it with me.

41. People think I'm tough and strong but I'm actually very sensitive and not as strong as I'm given credit for. I'm just very reserved and private.

42. I love a dapper dressed man. I especially love a good looking man in a bow-tie, charming and sexy!

43. Sometimes I really feel like I should have been born in my mothers generation.

44. Pepper is my most favorite condiment, I put tons of it on everything.

45. Technology is lost on me, I feel like a lot of it is really harmful to society and humanity. I don't mean medical advancements and the like, more things like smart phones, cable, social networking, etc..

46. I LOVE bows! Always have and always will. As a matter of fact my aforementioned best friend got me a bow ring for Christmas this year! Isn't it fabulous?

47. I can roll my tongue and make train whistle and hoot owl sounds with it.

48. I only eat ketchup in two circumstances - On a hamburger with just ketchup and onions and on french fries, but only with pepper mixed in it.

49. My mom was the on-set teacher for the kids in A Time to Kill and I got to meet Samuel L Jackson, Sandra Bullock, and Matthew Mcconaughey because of it. Too bad I was like 7 and was like Whooooo cares?! lol

50. My favorite Christmas song is Mele Kalikimaka and though I've been trying to teach it to my son he is currently obsessed with Feliz Navidad.

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To be honest with you
Saturday. 12.8.12 9:20 pm
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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I'm still alive
Thursday. 11.29.12 2:35 pm
I'm still around but damn it doesn't feel like it. One week from today and this semester will be over, thank god. Then I can start making christmas presents for everyone I know since I'm too poor to buy much right now. I miss NuTang though.. I'm going to try and make a bit dent in my nutangian challenge while schools out. Until then here's a picture of a cow's eye.

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Wednesday. 10.24.12 9:25 am
I have so much to catch up on but I am TERRIFIED to take off these ghetto press on nails I had to slap on for the wedding and it is so so hard to type in them! But I just had to update that my bridesmaid dress did in fact bust a seam. Thankfully it was at the reception and after pictures. Fricking chicken tender breakfasts.

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Grumble, grumble...
Monday. 9.24.12 3:22 pm
Working out kind of makes me want to shoot myself in the face. Even when it is fun style kinect working out it still sucks. Thank God I have my bridesmaid dress hung out in constant view to remind me of my ridiculously beautiful family and their loving judgement that awaits me in officially less than a month.

I had chicken tenders for breakfast.

fuck. me.

Why can't pretending to be perfect be easier?

grumble grumble g r u m b l e

I'm too lazy to a whole nutagian challenge post but I thought of a random fact today that would have been perfect for it.

26. I know every word to "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown" by Jim Croce.

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Tears for Anatomy
Friday. 9.14.12 1:31 pm
I can't even count how many times school has driven me to tears this semester. I've got a busy course load and I stretch myself to thin every where else as well. Ugh. I've been thinking about asking to be put on aderal (sp?). It helps me a lot with school but it kind of sucks too because when I've been on it before the dosing wasn't right and I would get my school work done and then lay in bed trying to sleep all night, without success. But hell I'm not sleeping now anyways because I'm all over the place. My brain hurts. Sometimes I hate school. I just don't feel strong enough or smart enough or like it's going to all pay off in the end. Everybody I know acts like I'm so damn smart but at the end of the day I still dropped out when I was 16 without ever having passed 9th grade. I was bullied and then got in with the wrong crowd, it wasn't that I was stupid, but it makes me feel very stupid now. And last time it got hard and I couldn't handle it I quit.. but I don't want to quit. I just don't want to fail either. Fuck, I am really upset right now. It's just been a long and busy couple of weeks and I think it's finally all over running me. Oh well, my mom always used to try to get me to let myself cry more so I probably need this. Sometimes I feel like people in my life don't realize how much they lean on me.. but who do I lean on? I have a hard time letting myself lean on those who lean on me and I'm not the type to open up and lean on someone anyhow. fuck. I guess on lean on you nutang.

I have not cried like this in forever. This is so.. odd? I don't even know. Sometimes I just think blogs out in my head that I know I'll never type. I bet for every 1 I type, I think 100 others. I feel like such a crazy person for not being able to even open up to a piece of blank white space on a computer. I wish I didn't have such a fear of vulnerability. I envy those who can be open. It's probably because every person I've ever chosen to open myself up too has shit on that. Ugh. I'm so tired of being fucked up. Pardon me but just let me throw myself a pity party for a moment. I have had so many things in my life happen that were so beyond my control and that has fucked me up. That fucking me up has led me to making decisions that just fuck me up worse. I always try to be a good person and do the right thing and I always just make things more difficult.

I've got to go try and calm myself down.. I have schoolwork and obligations filling up the next 72 hours, I have got to get it together.

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