tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiired.

I gots too much to do.

*cries*

I should be writing/drawing/paying bills but I'm thinking about going back and maybe reading Harry Potter 3, like a big old sissy girl, or perhaps watching Law & Order while I stare at the air conditioning, wishing I had enough money to put it on all the time instead of just at night.

Stupid economy.

The only bright thing about all of this?

I have to work Saturday. Normally, this would piss me off but this time it doesn't.

WHY???

Because if I didn' t have to work, I'd have to go camping. Now camping in and of itself is NOT a bad thing. Normally I like camping. But this is roughing it on a level I'm not prepared for.

There are NO bathrooms. Not even porta-potties. It's a national park, so we can't poo in the woods. If we have to go, we have to hike a half mile back to our car, drive for forty five minutes to the nearest town...and then we wander around in search of a bathroom to go in.

I don't particularly care if there are showers. Don't care if I have to go in a really stinky porta john. The one at Pine's Point was old, rickety, with no seat and when the wind blew really hard, the entire outhouse would shake violently. But I was okay with that.

A line has to be drawn somewhere.

And that line is no bathrooms.

SO HURRAH FOR WORKING OVERTIME THIS WEEK!!

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Today was a weird, weird day.

One of two things happened.

One, someone tattooed, "Crazy people, come here," on my forehead without my knowing it or two, or there was a big sign outside of that said the same thing. IN HUUUUUUUUUGE NEON LETTERS...that blinked.

I won't go into it, because there's nothing worse than someone going on and on about the specifics of their job. Because it's boring and unless you work at the same bank I do, you'll have NO idea what I'm talking about. Just believe me when I say...here there be weirdos.

Also, I'm still obsessing over the Girl's Bike Club. For one reason or another I decided to rewatch the Harry Potter movies.

I'm just waiting for those little wankers to weave their way down the winding road of drunken obscurity.

Yes, I'm wrong and evil. BLAH BLAH BLAH

I've heard it before and BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORING.

Anyway, back to the GBC. So, thinking about this I decided to troll the internet and what did I find!! They've already started!!

For reals. Type in Emma Watson and beer and you get a whole page of "Hermione Granger" herself chugging away on long neck after long neck.

So, my dreams of inducting at least one Harry Potter alum into the GBC might come true. Though, seeing as she is a girl I'm not sure if she's eligible for the GBC. Maybe if Daniel "Harry Potter" Radcliff goes on a bender, we can chuck her in there as his bike bitch.

Hee.

Just imagine. Old Danny boy on an electric pink Huffy, streamers flickering in the wind as he weaves down the road, drunk off his ass in ratty old repro robes that sort of look like his old costume. Behind him, perched on the wheel bolts is Emma, makeup running, hair all askew...a long neck covered by a bag clutched in her boney hand.

And as she takes another chug, she leans forward and bellows, "I'M HERMIONE FUCKING GRANGER!!"

Before burping a little and puking all over Dan, who crashes the bike into a light pole. And as she rolls on the ground moaning, her cheap pleated skirt hiked over a pimply, cellulite knotted thigh, she sits up...looking bleakly out at the gathering crowd as a continual stream of vomit leaks out one side of her mouth.

Actually, that makes me a little sad..

But the GBC does that to you sometimes.

Someone should post HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE SIGNS in Hollywood with Danny Bonaduce's face on them, with the cautionary words, "This Could Be You in Twenty Years".

Because...seriously child stars...seriously..

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It's all hot and it hurts and stuff...again.

Even with the air on I'm warm as all get out. I cringe to think what my electric bill is gonna be.

Tired still. Husband washed the cat today. Thought it'd be funny to dump said wet cat on my while I was asleep. Thought about throwing wet cat back at him, but was too tired.

Now I'm all warm and sticky and hungry.

I should do something about that.

This journal is nothing but bitching.

I want a candy bar. I don't need one...but I want one.

I should take a nap.

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Dude.

Someone just made that noise that Lucy Lawless made in Xena....you know the one...

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIYIP!

Or whateve it was.

So I'm now under the impression that Xena lives in our apartment complex. On one hand, we'll be protected from subhuman Roman despots and angry gods. On the other, we'll be more heavily targeted because Xena is here. Sure, she kicks ass and all...but now all flaming arrows through our windows and stuff.

I suppose, c'est la vie...but still.

Also, Shatner would so be in the Girl's Bike Club. Hear me out. If Tom Cruise can get in for being a total nut bar, then Shanter WOULD SO BE IN. Because he's crazier. And he'd be waaaaaaaaaaaay too into it. His bike would all be decorated like he was riding in the Fourth of July parade, except it's November and the streamers woven through the spokes have gotten all ratty and the colors have bled into each other. He'd have one of those sparkly seats, except he never takes care of his bike and is always leaving it on the lawn when it rains...then he lets it dry in the sun and the plastic's all worn and cracked.

Wow. Sorry. Had a moment there.

Gonna go lay down. I'm really tired for some reason...

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I'm feeling insecure again. WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT??

I need to get the "Fuck all y'all" back that has always been the basis of my personality. Somewhere along the line I started caring about what people think again and that just screws things up.

FUCK Y'ALL! FUCK ALL Y'ALL!

I feel better now.

It's like that one moment in "Coming to America" where Eddie Murphy is all like, "YES, FUCK YOU TOO!"...except with a frumpy little white chick....wearing a babooshka. Correction...a KNITTED babooshka and a boob shirt...yelling to her cat, who's looking at her funny, as if to say, "WTF, Noa?? WTF!!!"

Also, on the firecracker watch...THEY ARE STILL SHOOTING THEM OFF! My neighbors are INSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE. If they're still going it at it this weekend, I just give up.

I'm bored.

And I wish I knew more rich people...because then they could buy my art and I'd be slightly less poor and maybe a bit more fulfilled.

I don't want to be a princess anymore.

I wanna be an EMPRESS!!

Merf.

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DUDE! THEY'RE STILL LIGHTING OFF FIRECRACKERS!! IT'S JULY 5TH!!

Okay, I'm probably just being a douche bag about it. But I just don't like hearing things 'splode outside my apartment. We don't live in the worst area ever but it's not the best either. Anyway, it's just freaking me out.

I haven't been the same since we got our door kicked in two years ago.

Stupid people suck.

I need to move to an abandoned shack.

Also, husband just walking in and staring at me...kinda creepy. I love him and all, but that's just weird.

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