today, i learned of a new plot. the goal is to slowly murder you with things like calcium. my doctor told me of this earlier, and i couldn't believe it. he told me that when you intake this substance it will solidify your blood. eventually you will be so heavy with solid blood you will sink to the bottom of the ocean. this is just a freindly warning. calcium is bad.

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today, i want to tell you about a liar. a few years back i was introduced to a girl. her name was jean. jean was nice. unusually nice. it honestly was creepy. most just figured that she was a nice girl. i alone knew something was up. noone would believe me when i mentioned it. jean was that person who would always show up at the right place at the right time. she had everything in the world. was there to cheer you up. i remember one day i had cut my hand open. she was there, and she helped wrap it up. it was amazing, like having a doctor right beside you. there was another occasion where i confronted her about her secret. i asked her "what is your secret?" she cocked her head to the side, and said "i am creating an army, i want to rule the world." i had one of those moments, you know where you laugh nervously, hoping that the other person thinks you understood, but you really don't. i didn't like it. i never have liked feeling that way. i looked at her, and asked, do you have a cool name for your domination plan? she said, "you betcha" "what is it?" i asked. her reply was cold, "operation if i told you, i'd have to kill you" at this point i began to laugh uncontrollably. until i saw the barrell of the gun. too bad jean was a lousy shot though. im still hanging around. or a part of me is.

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i want to introduce you to todd. todd was a hard working man. he was a kind man. and an honest one as well. todd decided one day, that after all he had given to his small town he would try something bigger and better. naturally todd went to the city. on his first day into the city a person asked him for the time. todd looked at his watch, "six fifteen" he replied. the person requesting the time punched todd in the nose, and ran away. later todd was at a diner. he sat alone. but that was okay, he just got into town in the morning. he didn't know anyone. after he ate his dinner and paid his bill he walked outside. sitting outside on the sidewalk was the man who asked todd for the time earlier. todd went up to the man and kneed him in the gut, and punched his face in until his hand was soggy and red with blood. todd looked at the man, and simply said, "your welcome kind sir, and have a nice day."

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