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Speak to My Finger
Books I have completed reading since January 2021:

1. The Enchanted - Rene Denfield
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
I want to thank the people for giving me encouragement for my previous post. I'm feeling much better and much much better now since I just bought a gothic lolita and punk fashion magazine. My eyes are just glued to the magazine.

I'm currently looking for people to join me for a treasure hunt which is purely for charity.

Want more details? Here

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Happy Moments
Monday, February 11, 2008
Happy moments eh?Happy - Happy Moments(Click here to find out more)

Someone in a forum was informing the others about a contest for bloggers and recorders to post their happy moments to stand a chance of winning RM5000. As usual, I went to busy body at the site. Yes, like the website said, all you need to do is to pick a happy moment out of your reservoir of happy moments. Simple as ABC right? If you are happy everyday, you won't be having a problem of picking one in fact you would just be spoiled with choices, isn't it?

To speak frankly, it took me all day to think of a happy moment especially tomorrow is the beginning of an unhappy life for me.

And I'm writing such an unhappy entry for the contest?

I'm not going to bring up my unhappy moments here since I have too many and I don't want to remember them. Why want to add more misery in my present life?

As I'm typing now, my heart is crying for the unhappiness I have endured and the ones I have to endure tomorrow onwards. I keep on questioning why do I have endure all this unhappiness... what do I have to do to get out of this well of unhappiness. The crux is why is the period of unhappiness so long that I feel it's a neverending torture.

How can I find happiness in this puddle of unhappiness? How can I even produce a smile when I'm so excruciating in pain? I guess this is what life is. Life is never perfect or forever smooth sailing. I guess be an animal like a pet dog even have its own life crisis. I guess part of life is to find a speckle of happiness in the vast universe of sufferings. The most important thing is to never give up the idea that happiness won't come to me; I must have confidence in myself that I would definitely have happiness no matter what!

Said is easier than done. As I stated, how can you find even a drop of happiness when the morning dew is poisoned with unhappiness?

I would try to be happy. I would try to smile even though I'm suffering silently everyday. And I won't give up until my nightmare is over.

If your are suffering too, don't give up! I'm with you!

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Hair cut dude
Sunday, February 10, 2008
I got a hair cut by a senior hairstylist and I got 50% off. Good deal eh? But my haircut seemed to be very simple ...oh well just imagine my face with Posh Spice current hairstyle or which is rather known as 'pob'. My hairdresser is very pretty and it's a transvetite... She looks very sweet... Very unbelievable... And she wears 2-inch high heel shoe... Gosh ... And guess who was seating beside me today? It was Chef Wan, a local celebrity chef that has a fellowship in a London culinary school. And I heard he's flying to London tomorrow for his Malaysian cooking class.

And after that, out of nowhere, I met my friend from New Zealand. Gosh.. out of the places, we just bumped into each other... It was fated... Someone must have been thinking of me while chanting to the Gohonzon... wondering if I'm still alive. How sweet.

Ooh... I still got no tears...

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Put on your sunshade...
Saturday, February 9, 2008
I had a great time today because I went to Seremban with Worm Worm to visit a friend there. I have not seen him for ages since he left my former working place. He doesn't even have time to have ice-cream with us!! Oh well... today we got to catch up with each other...

And then another thing I learn from today is to get a sunshade soon!!! The sun was so glaring today that my eyes got hurt from it until now... My eyes now are so dry that tears won't come out when I tried to cry ... just a little ... but it's still not enough to moisten my eyes... I can't even blink my eyes properly now ... Man ... I need sunglasses!!!

Just an article about sunglasses and health. Happy reading. IIt's Your Health - Sunglasses.

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You sink I float
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
It really breaks my heart to read an article of the poorer Haitian eating mud cakes as their main meals. I tried to imagine the taste of mud mixed with sugar and shortening melting in my mouth... My mind just tell me it's disgusting but my heart cried to know that this is a reality of people resulting to eating dirt just to live by everyday while people here could eat all they want. Yea I know I have a colleague who wasted so much food everyday. Yes it's everyday. She eats nasi lemak or fried noodle every morning. And she could not even clean her plate. There would always be bits of rice/noodle and some friend egg pieces. If you were to pile these food waste everyday, you would get a full plate by the 7th day. I'm not joking... you could always try out this experiment. And everyday I don't understand why they have to throw the newspaper along the food styrofoam container even though it's clean. I could always remind them gently but I'm tired to do that so I seldom join them for breakfast. It's an eyesore to see people wasting food knowing there's always a possibility of us eating food at the expense of others.

I was thinking to myself... is there any way I could help out.

Another thing is I was thinking of this poem... Poem ... actually should it be even called poem?

Saw you once
I fell in love with you

Saw you twice
My heart is yours forever

Saw you thrice
I wanted to ask if you like me too

When I look into your eye
I don't even have to ask ...
for I recognize you as
my Soulmate

Man .. it's so lame ...

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OOh... Yea...
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Nothing much happened except hell again is going to break loose on the 12/2/08. I thought the first phase is already over and the next phase won't happen so fast. The second phase is arriving faster than my family thought. We so HATE this period. Serious. I'm going to get stress again mentally and spiritually. I'm not joking. If you were in my situation, you just wish the person that gives you all this suffering just DIE and disappear.

And there won't be any light in life until this person dies or GET OUT from our life. Oh well I will try to get out of this but this shit is just impossible - at the moment.

And yea another thing is I don't like part time job. I thought it was fun, that is at first. And maybe I should just be a simple person not the critical thinking person. But hey... I'm a perfectionist here. Right... next time I'm going to let the service customers off the hook very easily. Oh it also says .. I suck at acting because I can't keep to my acting script. Damn it.

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