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Speak to My Finger
Books I have completed reading since January 2021:

1. The Enchanted - Rene Denfield
A vroom meow
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Note: Don't laugh whatever you are going to read next. You have been warned.

Right. I'm now or rather contemplating to watch Harry Potter in the cinema. I want to save money and I don't think I can wait for the next release next year. I was thinking of getting all the final parts in a few years time and organise my own Harry Potter final movie marathon. This idea is indeed tempting if only I'm getting the dvds on my own, which likely not because I don't like to buy dvds. And maybe I would just borrow from my friends.

So on the opening night. I actually dreamed of the movie. Apparently, I dreamed of myself having a role in the movie! Hmm.. villain or not I was not sure but it seems like I'm neutral. I don't side neither and I will only side whoever is on the winning team. HAHAHAH... How did I know? Coz I saw a glimpse of a write up on me acting in the movie and the article was praising me for being able to deliver the character. HAHAHA. And my weapon is spices. HAHAHA.

It was a fun dream. On top of that, I dreamed of having a photoshoot for the write-up. HAHAHA.

On the second thought, I'm embarrassed to share this dream.

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Is just neutral?
Thursday, November 18, 2010
I think whoever read the article written by a youth today in a daily free paper in Kuala Lumpur would definitely slap our forehead without fail. Let me tell you why.

The writer was writing about justice. And so a friend happened to share an incident which he witnessed a month ago. He was passing by an orphanage home and witnessed a caretaker raping a disabled. The writer asked the friend to be the witness for the police report but he didn't want to because he didn't want to bring trouble. So the writer asked why was he telling her after one month. He replied so she could do something.


It reminded me of a friend who I have just made friend with from another friend. She is a law grad and she was sitting beside me during a reunion dinner with some foreign friends in September. We were in this popular Malaysian restaurant which I hated a lot because the food sucks and they are very expensive. Anyways, she and I ordered Laksa (a local Malaysian food) and I was angered when I could not see any fish meat in the noodle. I only had noodle and soup to eat with. I wanted to complain but I have 3 foreign friends sitting opposite me, and I don't want to make a scene. As I was eating, I felt I was suppressing my feelings for justice. (I call this food justice, ha). Hitherto I was angry to be paying RM13.90 for a bowl of noodle with absolute no ingredients and on top of the bill is the guest's food bills. I didn't want to pay for something that I was no satisfied. So I asked this law grad what she thinks of the noodle. She was disappointed as well. So I told her I'm going to COMPLAIN. I kept calling the captain and he finally appeared. So I told him the problem. He asked why I had not bring this matter up when I was still eating. The reply I gave was I have guests and I don't want to make a scene that might create discomfort among my friends and guests. So the captain brought additional fish... While I was calling the captain, I could hear the law grad mumbling under her breath: Maybe we should not complain. And then she was digging into her noodles. Clearly, she was pouting when the captain appeared. I really complained about the food quality, which also embarassed the person who suggested that restaurant. At the end of my meal, the suggester said she didn't know the Laksa was not good since she only eats Nasi Bojari whenever she frequents this restaurant. So I learned my lesson from this experience: Excuse myself to have food somewhere and then reunite with friends who are having meals at restaurants I don't agree with. I cannot be giving face at the expense of my health and pocket. And you know what? I have done this before. I read the menu and nothing was pleasant to me, so I just walked out and grabbed a soy burger within 20 minutes and joined back my friends. Of course, the suggester was sorry because he never even bothered to ask if renaye is vegetarian or not!!!!

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Meowing for treasure
Sunday, November 14, 2010
I dreamed of Jolene and I in a field playing treasure hunt. We were wearing some green tops and we were standing on a field with other participants, bu I don't know why I was barefooted. And it was raining. It was quite funny to see the both of us playing. We were just running around the field excitedly. And I saw also my photographer friend in the dream. He was smiling and taking photos as usual.

It was a fun dream.

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Pinnacle in life
Friday, November 12, 2010
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Almond Lapis
Sunday, November 7, 2010
12 egg yolks
6 egg whites
200g castor sugar
350g butter
90g ground almond
3tbsp condensed milk
1 tsp vanilla essence
1 tsp lapis spices
90g halved almonds
60g flour

1. Cream butter with hald of the sugar.
2. Beat yolks with the remaining sugar till mixture is thick. Add condensed milk, vanilla and spices. In another bowl, beat egg whites till stiff.
3. Fold butter mixture into yolk and mix well. Fold in the flour and ground almonds, then the beaten egg whites and mix.
4. Pour batter to form a layer in a prepared pan. Bake at 180 C to 200 C till layer is done. Repeat, baking layer by layer.

When the top layers is reached, top with the halved almonds and bake for a further 5 minutes.

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The connection between sex and dignity
Friday, November 5, 2010
I have been reading here and there, and to be frank I'm quite saddened with the mentality of some people. A disclaimer here would be if you are not open-minded and if you think a woman got rape just because she wears a short skirt should be blamed, then I STRONGLY advise you to stop continue reading when you reach the full stop HERE.

I was scanning a book entitled Half the Sky something something in a bookstore recently and I'm shocked to read one of the encounters of a prominent female who fights for human rights in her community was gang raped. Not because she was wearing a mini skirt, but because she was ordered to be raped by 10 men by the community leaders. Why? Because the girl's brother was kidnapped and raped by some heterosexual guys in the village. To cover up the issue, these kidnappers accused the brother for raping a girl in the part of their village. And so the brother was brought to the community leaders for judgment. She was there to take her brother home and sort things out. But the community leaders wanted to cover the case too, and so they punished the girl for the brother's accused crime by sentencing her to be raped. By doing so, the community leaders were certain that she will kill herself to cleanse the family's image. Well, it seems this is the way for girls in Pakistan to clear their names and clean their family's image. But this girl didn't commit suicide, because her parents prevented her from doing so. And so she brought up this case to the police and a lot of things happened, which also involved the former president threatening her for giving a 'false' image of the country to the world.

And then ... I was shocked to read that female politicians in Kenya who are running for elections will be heavily guarded to prevent gangsters kidnapping and raping her. Because raping will make the female candidates to drop their candidacy since this kind of matter humiliates the candidate.

As I went through each page of the book, I can't help questioning how society can be cruel in my head. I can't help thinking who the bastards were to discriminate female in such ways. The conclusion I had was so appalling: If you want to break a woman in every way, you rape her. And I keep on thinking to myself what is so big deal about virginity? So what if a female loses her virginity? Why did our stupid ascendants placed were so crazy about virginity? Ok. Say whatever you want about my previous question. But I'm questioning how can society so cruel to a female. Why prosecute a human being just because she is a female? How can a society be build by passing down the teachings/ thinking that women are slaves? Are women some kind of object to accessorize the men?

And how can a society sentence RAPE as punishment? What kind of values is that? What is wrong with women? What is wrong being a female?

My last question is don't men fear of karma for making women suffering like hell? Thank god, I can live without a man.

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