_reticent_'s Weblog Site • NuTang.com

this is the final blow???

Saturday. 11.20.04 10:34 pm

wow...i havnet been on this for some time now...about 5 months...and yet i still remember my password to this account...horray for me i guess...wow...after three days of no talking...things ended up where it was...the gutter...the pits...the dump...each time we had our shares of disappointments, endless fights about nothing!, our lovely days together...was only minutes away...but now the final blow..i guess...is all that is left of it...nothing is left...we completely lost it this time i guess...both of us..insane little people..took the hit and left if for dead...wow...is right..wow...you are right...i am too damn attached...i dont really know if that is a good thing or not....but that doenst matter now does it...i said the words i said...and obvious that it wont work..cause you dont really feel the same way about me...but i will be alright...as always..cause you know i will :P...love and lost...sad...but life will process once more...without you this time for good...i am sorry for what i have done...mistreat you in some ways..which i didnt think i did...stupid me...well you had your shares of the horrible sides...but i am not mad..and neither are you...so life is life right...hehe...we had our shares of the ups and downs...but this was a journey i guess will never be forgotten...hmmm....sniff sniff...this is good bye i guess my friend...good bye...

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we are done

Tuesday. 6.29.04 10:38 pm

well well well...everything is over...once again someone is frustrated with everything about me...i cant do this...i cant do that...what else is new around here...no one can even bare with me at all..so they just leave me...oh well...i can take this sucking up my guts and move on right...of course i can...i did it before...i can do it again...yup yup
i am sorry that i treated you like crap...supposely that i did...just because i couldnt really do something...go with you there...be with you all the time...that is what you call crap...well then i am really sorry...i never meant to do that to you at all...i try to do everything...make everyone happy..but i never can...i try...and i can never please anyone...never...and it sucks crap...juggling this and that...what the heck...try to see what..plan things properly...but it never works does it...i try each time..and whatever the result is...i did try even if you didnt think so
i am not a person that takes what she gets...you think you telling me all you want is me...lies lies and more lies...maybe i am wrong to say that it is a lie..but you know what...you never ever want a person like that...its just not right...it doesnt sound remotely right...please someone please

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Monday. 6.7.04 1:13 am

happy anniversary...happy anniversary...happy anniversary!! LOL...one month!

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Thursday. 6.3.04 night

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this is how i feel..

Wednesday. 5.5.04 12:26 am

oh wow! things got a bit icky today..totally didnt expected at all..just caught me by surprise..like damn it guy! sigh..was so torn up inside..it hurt so much for him and me too...even though it wasnt me in physical pain..but i feel through him..why why why..you were making progress..but you promised to stop..you swore..i hope you keep it..i really hope
the question..i was puzzled to what to do..i couldnt think on the spot..damn it! hai! the question took me by surprise..and i couldnt believe it that i couldnt answer you sooner..hurting so much..and you too..i am sorry for the pain..i knew the answer a long time now..but sometimes i cant tell you..cause i wasnt too sure..i keep on self doubting myself about..just too much "what ifs"..i was afraid..i was scared..i thought i couldnt handle it..damn..but you know now..and that is all i ever wanted ever..you are everything too me..just you and me hun and that is all..no doubts now..

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oh man...

Monday. 5.3.04 2:58 am

oh wow...everything went too fast...way too fast...everything just blurted out...i guess it was to happen soon..even though i didnt exactly wanted it to be like that..but at least we are taking our time...very slowly which i like..and its for the good of the relationship..never rush into things so fast..we know how each others feel..but we are both still very scare to what is going to happen..all those analytical questions...as he mentioned are ruining things i guess..guess that isnt exactly the way to go on things..hmmm..we will just have to see what the future brings...-_-"
DISCOVERY...i think i would be happy with him...*giggles* :)

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