Blah, it's cold. I spent the day in bed. I might go back to bed, early, since there's nothing else to do. No place to go, nothing to see, no one to see, nothing to do. This sunday I have a gig in Fort worth. It's a "try-out" for a much bigger concert that we might have in may. I like going to Fort worth, just because I love getting out of the house and doing something instead of being at home bored out of my mind.

I hate being so alone. No matter how many things are going on in my life, that doesnt change my feelings about myself being so alone. I've always felt alone, even in relationships, because I'm such a "dark" person. There are only a few things I'm willing to let out of the bag, the rest I keep to myself, and that's why I feel that way. Some things I dont think people could handle if I told them. And I plan on taking those secrets with me to the grave. Playing shows makes me feel alive, since I dont ever feel alive any other way. I felt alive talking to Chelsea, she's really fun to talk to and has a similar sense of humor. I'm hungry.

Not much to say. Punk rock isnt feeding me as it did. It is, but it isnt. I dont think music is interesting to me anymore, it's all boring. I love playing it, but music, listening to it is just boring. I cant find anything, any new phase to go through. Any band, anything at all. It's just boring to me, all of it. There's that sense of rebellion in peoples songs, and that's all too similar to the way every other band tries to be rebellious. There's that sense of insanity, pulsing through the lyrics, and that's boring too because everyone does that. I'm bored with myself, and bored with most of the people I know. There's never anything new to know or see. I feel like an old man who has "seen it all". The more I go on, the worse it gets for me, I'm just getting more and more bored with myself and my surroundings. I need something new. Some place new to go and discover. Dallas isnt interesting at all to me. It's so dark, and the violence is insane. People want to improve on this town but they cant even improve on themselves, it's pathetic. I hate living here.And that I'm just bored with it. There's nothing new, it's all the same: piss hole right at hte bottom center of the United states.

United state...we're not united. Everyone's so concerned with their health, or how they look to care about anyone else's feelings. America sucks.

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