ziwtra's Weblog Site • NuTang.com

A little excerpt from a sequence of emails to and from a friend:
Moi: "Let me explain that. She isn't my girlfriend. That's why it's hopeless romanticism. I just care for her above anything else, even my own family. I'm none too sure what she feels towards me, but I'm fairly certain she's not in love... The crazy thing is, I think I'm fine with that. As long as she's happy, I really don't care if I end up sprawled out in a gutter. The way she smiles and laughs and does everything her own way... it just elates me to see it. My happiness is really out of the question because, no matter how down I get, I can always remind myself that she's living life how she wants, which is how I want it. Sure, she has a boyfriend. Of course I'm jealous. But I have no problem with it because she's so happy. I'd do anything to keep her that way."
Elle: "Oh, I see. I thought she was your girlfriend, by the way you were describing her. She has a boyfriend ? Wow, That's kind of pathetic... At least you have something that keeps you going."
Later, Elle: "[...]I'm sure she'll learn later on that she's making a mistake..."
Moi: "I can't really say that she's making a mistake. I mean... She's perfect. There's no way I could possibly be good enough for her. I'm sure somewhere out there, there's the perfect guy for her - matching her for intelligence and beauty. But, no, it's no mistake. I'm sure she can see just as well as I can that I'm no where near what she should be looking for..."
Elle: "Well, will you just be there to watch over her for the rest of your life ? I mean, there has to be another girl at your school that makes you swell up. If you really love her, then don't give up. I'm glad that you put that into your own perspective."
Moi: ""Well, will you just be there to watch over her for the rest of your life ?" Probably.
Sure, there are other girls I have my eye on... but I'd never let anything with any of them get that far. Pretty much anyone that I could even think of like... doing anything with besides her, I only think that way for shallow reasons. Of all the things I know, I know loving her is the truest... and I don't want that to slip away."