It's safe to say that I can't get along very well by focusing on my "hobbies". After two days of trying to put them first, I've realized just how dull of a person I am. Sure, I've been transmogrifing air into art and literature as of late but that gets really dull quickly. So here's what I say: screw my hobbies, I'll focus on things at hand. I was prefectly fine leading my average life, boredom and all, because I didn't oversaturate the time I spent on things. Well, I suppose that's not entirely true, I spent most of my time thinking about Emerald. Needless to say, that was rather fun if not a tad confusing.

Make no mistake, I'm not going to give up on trying to reform my relationship with Emerald from the dust I ground it into, I'm just going to follow my whims as I normally would instead of this "work at your hobbies" crap. I only have a handful of hobbies to speak of anyway. Anyway, I really have to work on saying what I'm thinking, so I think I'll try to work that out for a few days.

Let's see, Mrs. Lighty called me out of Mr. Thompson's class today to ask if I could help teach the freshmen how to swim. I agreed very enthusiastically since it was a nice ticket out of Mr. Thompson's class for a while... He has the most horrible teaching style of any PE teacher I've ever had. He just sits back and says, "Alright, this is what you do - go do it - if you don't do it, I take off points." And, thus said, he retreats to the corner and amuses himself doing absolutely nothing all period. At least Mrs. Lighty is involved. She was even being sort of nice to me, but I suspect that's because someone told her I made Eagle and that gave her a little link to me since her son is an Eagle and whatnot. At least I'm out of the hell-hole for a week or so.

I wonder. If I were to become more open, would people joke with me more? Would they be more willing to talk themselves? If that did happen, would it be for the better? I suppose there's only one way to find out the first two questions - by doing it. As for the third, sure, it'd be worth it if Emerald liked it and, as an added bonus, I'd be more willing to tell people when I get mad, when I get sad, when I'm feeling everything, when I'm not feeling... I could become a magical eight-ball of emotion! It'd be fun.

Mr. Quach lent me an extremely interesting book today, it's called Uncle Tungsten. It's sort of an autobiography of a neurologist who grew up in the midst of a crapload of science-type happenings. He displays everything he learned in a child's perspective (with a college vocabulary) and links it with the happenings of his life. Although I'm only ¹/₂₀ done with the book, I'd seriously recommend it to all of you science-types. I'm learning a lot from reading about a child's discoveries and I suppose that is, in part, because I'm still a child but I think anyone could get a lot out of this book.

Actually, I've always wondered how much writing a book really affects someone. Sure, novels and autobiograpies tell you a lot about the views of the author but just how touched are they by their own messages? I'd think they'd just think one of their ideas is just that - just another idea - while there are millions of people that find it beautiful and start quoting passages to support it. I have people tell me that my poetry is full of emotion and whatnot but I, personally, don't see much of anything in it besides words written on a piece of paper. That's sort of what spawned this entire train of thought, I suppose. Maybe people just read too much into everything and they've found tons of hidden messages within themselves thanks to what other people have written. I don't know, this is too confusing a topic to continue on.

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