It all started when I was 16 years old. While I was playing outside on my
>farm in California, I met
>>
>> a boy. He was an average kind of boy who teased you and then you chased
>them and beat them up.
>>
>> After that first meeting in which I beat him up we kept on meeting and
>beating each other up at the
>>
>> fence. That only lasted for a little while though. We would meet at the
>fence all the time and we
>>
>> were always together. I would tell him all my secrets. He was very quiet
>he would just listen to
>>
>> what I had to say. I found him easy to talk to and I could talk to him
>about everything. In school
>>
>> we had separate friends but when we got home we would always talk about
>what happened in school.
>>
>> One day I said to him that a guy I liked hurt me and broke my heart. He
>just comforted me and said
>>
>> everything would be okay. He gave me words of encouragement and helped me
>get over him. I was happy
>>
>> and thought of him as a real friend. But I knew that there was something
>else about him that I
>>
>> liked. I thought of it that night and figured it was just a Friend kinda
>thing that I was feeling.
>>
>> All through high school and even through graduation we're always together
>and of course I thought
>>
>> of it as being friends. But I knew deep inside that I really felt
>differently. On graduation night
>>
>> even though we had different dates to the prom I wanted to be with him.
>That night after everybody
>>
>> went home I went to his house and wanted to tell him that I wanted to see
>him. Well, that night was
>>
>> my big chance and all I did was just sit there with him watching the stars
>and talking about what I
>>
>> was going to do and what he was going to do. I looked into his eyes and
>listened to him talk about
>>
>> what his dream was. How he wanted to get married and settle down. He said
>how he wanted to be rich
>>
>> and successful. All I could do was to tell him my dream and cuddle next to
>him. I went home hurting
>>
>> because I didn't tell him how I was feeling. I wanted to tell him so bad
>that I loved him but I was
>>
>> too scared and frightened. I let my feelings go and told myself that
>someday I would tell him just
>>
>> how I felt. All through college I wanted to tell him but he always had
>someone with him. After
>>
>> graduation he got a job in New York; I was happy for him but at the same
>time I was sad to see him
>>
>> go. I was sad also because I didn't tell him how I felt. But I couldn't
>let him know now that he
>>
>> was leaving for his big job. So I just kept it to myself and watched him
>go on the plane. I cried
>>
>> as I hugged him for what I felt was going to be the last time. I went home
>that night and cried my
>>
>> eyes out. I felt hurt that I didn't tell him what I had inside my heart.
>Well, I got a job as a
>>
>> secretary and then worked my way to a computer analyst. I was proud of
>what I had accomplished. One
>>
>> day I got a letter with an invitation to a wedding. It was from him; I was
>happy and sad at the
>>
>> same time. Now I know that I could never be with him and that we could
>only be friends. I went to
>>
>> the wedding the next month. It was a big occasion. It was a big church
>wedding with the reception
>>
>> at a hotel. I met the bride and of course I talked to him too. I fell in
>love one more time. But I
>>
>> held back so it wouldn't spoil what should be the happiest day in his
>life. I tried to have fun
>>
>> that night but it was killing me inside watching him being so happy and me
>trying to be happy
>>
>> covering up my sadness tears inside of me. I left New York feeling that I
>did the right thing.
>>
>> Before I left on the flight, he came running out of nowhere and said his
>good-byes and how he was
>>
>> very happy to see me. I came home and just tried to forget about what went
>on in New York. I had to
>>
>> go on with my life. As the years went on, we wrote to each other on what
>was going on and how he
>>
>> had missed talking to me. On one occasion he never wrote back to me at
>all. I was getting worried
>>
>> as to why he hadn't written anything for a long time after I had already
>written 6 letters to him.
>>
>> Well, just when everything seemed hopeless and sad in my life, I got a
>note that said: "Meet me at
>>
>> the fence where we used to talk about things". I went and saw him there. I
>was happy to see him,
>>
>> but he was broken-hearted and sad inside. We hugged until we couldn't
>breathe anymore. Then he told
>>
>> me about the divorce and why he hadn't written for a long time. He cried
>until he couldn't cry
>>
>> anymore. Finally, we went back to the house and talked and laughed about
>what I had been going and
>>
>> to catch up on old times. But in all of this, I couldn't tell him how I
>felt about him. In the days
>>
>> that followed, he had fun and forgot about all his problem and his
>divorce. I fell in love again
>>
>> with him. When it came time for him to leave back to New York, I went to
>see him off and cried. I
>>
>> hated to see him leave. He promised to see me every time he could get a
>vacation. I couldn't wait
>>
>> for him to come so I could be with him. We would always have fun when we
>were together. One day he
>>
>> didn't show up like he said he would. I figured that he might have been
>busy. The days turned into
>>
>> months and I just forgot about it. Then I got a call one day from a lawyer
>in New York. The lawyer
>>
>> said that he had died in a car accident going to the airport, and that it
>took this long till
>>
>> everything was settled. It broke my heart. I was shocked about what took
>place. Now I knew why he
>>
>> didn't come that day. Again, I was broken-hearted. I cried that night,
>cried tears of sadness and
>>
>> heartache. I asked questions: "Why did this happen to a kind guy like
>him?" I gathered my things
>>
>> and went to New York for the reading of his will. Of course, things were
>given to his family and
>>
>> his ex-wife. I finally got to meet her since the last time we met at the
>wedding. She explained to
>>
>> me how he was and how he always provided. But he was always unhappy. She
>would always try
>>
>> everything but she couldn't get him happy, as he was that night at their
>wedding. When the will was
>>
>> read, the one thing that was given to me was a diary. It was a diary that
>of his life. I cried as
>>
>> it was given to me. I didn't know what to think. Why was this given to me?
>I took it and flew back
>>
>> to California. As I flew on the plane I remembered the good times that we
>had together. I started
>>
>> reading the diary and what was written. The diary was started with the day
>we first met. I read on
>>
>> till I started to cry. The diary told of him saying that he had fallen in
>love with me that day I
>>
>> was broken-hearted. But he was too afraid to tell me what he had felt.
>That is why he was so quiet
>>
>> and liked to listen to me. It told of how he wanted to tell me so many
>times, but was too afraid to
>>
>> say anything. It told of when he went to New York and fell in love with
>another. How the happiest
>>
>> time he had was seeing me and dancing with me at the wedding. He said he
>imagined it was our
>>
>> wedding. How he was always unhappy till he had no choice but to divorce
>his wife. How the best time
>>
>> in his life was to read the letters written to him by me. Finally, the
>diary ended when it said,
>>
>> "today I will tell her I love her". It was the day he was killed. The day
>I was going to finally
>>
>> find out what was really in his heart. If you love someone, don't wait
>till tomorrow to tell
>>
>> him/her.

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