HAPPY BE-LATED --yesterday-- BIRTHDAY NIKKI G. AND NATHAN H.!

so hmmm..today was another day. i got my grades. and surprisingly..well kind of ((well more esp. computers)) my grades weren't that bad. the typical A's and B's. and since it's a progress report i ges u dont hafta kno not that u prolly even care. but im still mad cuz frikken mr. orphanos gave me a B in citizenship. what an ass. wtf did i do?! or is what DINT i do?? but why did i get a B?! i think i deserve a frikken A! but at least i have a B in scholarship. but i still needa turn all that other work in. i'll turn it in on monday fesho. and i hope he accepts it still. he better!

i dint getta see wha i got in my math test unfortunately. how bakla. i wanted tah see my grade cuz i felt like i did hella gOod on that! cuz i actually studied for that shiit ok! STUDIED! i did problems from the damn TEXTBOOK! so i better get like a 99%! cuz there was one i really had trouble with. butchea. ergh. man and ms. v dint finish "grading" our "Beauty" essays. gawdamnit! whas wrong wit teachers these days huh?! hah.

well i ges i been feelin better. ges that one day i jes lost it n was hella PMSin. but that's not to say that there isn't a day i truly feel that way. becuz there ARE days wen im NOT PMSin and i feel that way. i feel that way a lot of days. but i ges it shows more wen im on my rag. and as i was riding the bus today afterschool i realized that..I DONT REALLY KNOW HOW TO BE MYSELF ANYMORE. that girl i used to be has slowly disappeared. i dont kno why or how. well maybe i do. but all i kno is..is that..i dont think i'm ever really myself ne more. and i kno it's usually gOod to think b4 u speak but i mean..i think it's beginning to affect the way i act. and it's not that i'm being totally fake. but it's not the tru me. cuz i ges i try to make the other person..happy..or somethin..and i dont wanna look stupid or ne thin. and i also have become more quieter. and i kno a lot of ppl will be like "well weren't u always quiet??". and well that jes goes tah show how much u DON'T kno about me. cuz b4 i wasn't totally quiet. i mean i was an active person. of course i was shy wen i was around ppl i dint kno. i mean i wouldnt even talk! i'd wait for them to talk to me 99% of the time! and i still do that. but now i think it's becoming worse. i feel that I'VE BECOME MORE OF AN OBSERVER. not to be confused wit a stalker wit a starin problem it's jes..i noticed that a lot of wha i do is jes watch ppl. cuz i can't fit in wit dem cuz i'm not like them. i dont even KNO what i'm like ne more. i kno WHAT i like. but i dont kno WHO i really am. sumtimes there are days wen i AM myself but still those days are rare. cuz ev'ryday i try not to make myself look like a fool. IT'S SO HARD TO EXPLAIN but this is the best i can do.

so jes for that lil insight of what's going on in my mind. but i ges ima go eat now & do other stuff. see yah later.

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