xinyi0121's Weblog Site • NuTang.com

oh fark, i type so long den got error..argh..

i'm so tired .. having so many test but im stil goin out..shit..

studied a bit in de morn, hmm but not much gt into my head. haha. supposed to go gym but my body is nt in de rite condition to go. i cant sit straight, n i cant bend forward. it hurts so much. i dunno how cum lidat. its so pain i feel like screaming for him.

met angeline in de afternoon at orchard..both of us were lookin so sulky..sigh. cheer up babe, u r definitely better off than me. at least he took de intiative to get bk de r/s. it means he cares. its stil impt to him. mine is like impossible le, n im stil like a dumb ass pinning for some hope. wen he's probably enjoying his time wif her? wen u r upset, jus tink of my situation n b contented k? i belive things will work out for both of u. *cheers*

walked down towards PS..cos i had to help mum redeem some voucher thingy..de sun was so hot..plus 2 depress gers, make us reali sian. we jus kept tokin non stop bout our life. it sucks like hell. (u noe my frenz actually suspect tt he mite have 2-timed me? sigh..im confused) dad told me sth too n i kinda hav some doubts now.

i hate u..yet i love u..contradicting rite? guess tts life..so screwed up. ppl often say gotta hav some faith in de r/s but wen such a thg happen, u start to ask urself y r thgs goin tis way..is it reali meant to b? is de situation so bad or is there some external factors? makes me lose hope n confidence..

took bus down to millenia walk..plan was to rot at de burgking to study so i brought my GM notes.. haha but as expected, we din touch our books. i look at u, u look at me. kept makin myself laugh so as to avoid tears. BK was having tis national dae promotion meal thingy so we bought tt to share.. first time in my ife i din finish.. ate like 2 fries? den angel munch a bit on de burger. finish de drink n de rest were left over. practically wasted de whole meal. no appetite..

sat down there..no smile on our face..sigh, i tink i shld change my hp no. i nid some changes in my lifestyle, if nt i'll jus b sulkin my whole life. mood was so bad tt we decided to catch a show. din reali had de intention, but if tt cld distract us fr our touts for awhile, i wouldnt mind..so we watched Collateral.. a prettie nice movie i must sae! *cheers*

angel's bf called her during de show..askin if she wanna mit up wif him n his family.. hmm im happie for her, but it also means tt i'll b left alone. sigh. grr but its ok, i shld b happie for her :) put on a smile babe! i pray tt things will get beta for u n him! hope he noes wad is best for him in de daes to cum n i'll c u wif a smile de next time! i nid u to console me de! :P

so we separated after de movie..called Ro to c if she wanna cum out cos yea, feelin down = dun wan to go hm so earli. so coincidental, she had arranged to mit Joyce so we met up! yeah. headed to Parkway to mit dem..i miss dem soooo much! took bus 36 fr suntec n oh my, it was ooo crowded..ppl were pushing here n there. there were 3 kids in front of me oo cute..all sleeping..n de innocent look on their faces..sigh, i wish i cld b like dem!

dunno y but de bus journey was like kinda long..not suppose to b de cos they go by expressway. hai..tears started to fall, i gt no idea. prob im stil affected by it, but im tryin to b strong. saw Paramount hotel n tout of our old times.. i wonder if he stil rems..*cries*

i realise tt ppl can become a totally different person like, within seconds.. n it seems scary cos u wun noe if u can actually trust tt person..

my stomach was so painful tt i had to eat my dinner without waiting for Joyce.. sorry babe. (turn out to be: she ate liao! haha) we walked ard awhile for Ro to finish settlin herifts for her niece n nephew..den we rot at Yakun! hee.. ordered my fav teh-ping again.. they had kaya toast, but i was too full for tt. jus had dinner u c. started bitching n complainng ut life. Ro: SIM isnt tt bad k? i'm sure u can do well there so dun tk so much. all will work well for u. :)

came to my turn..i'd smuch to tel dem..haha, first time huh? tok until they close sia. we'd prob came to a conclusion tt most guys r bastards. or rather, de guys we met r bastards. even my guy frenz agree wif me. *grin* hai.. it hurts, callin him a bastard..but he actually told me he is one! oh fark, whatever. tinkin bout him makes my heart ache. reali. n picturin him wif another ger on de street makes me cry. i wonder if i wanna c him on de streets again.. will i b normal n sae hi to him? or will i freak out? *confused*

Ro, prob u shld cum my hse one of these daes n help me clear de stuff tt r related to him! 6 albums n all de stuff he gave me.. i dun wanna throw it away, but i also dun wanna c it.. if its already memories, i rather nt hav it. i noe im weird, im stupid, im dumb, im _______ (for u to fill up)

we'd so much to tok tt we moved over to Mac after Yakun close..hee. but din buy anythg. jus basically tokin bout sec sch life, how much we miss those times. time reali flies, n i must sae i reali enjoyed my sec sch life. gotta noe such a gr8 bunch of frenz hu were wif me thru my ups n downs. de teachers whom we bitched abt, but they turn out to b so nice n helpful. wonder how they r now..

tok bout de ah lians in our sch..hee..n Ro said: actually we arent de naughty batch. gee, quite true, but i tink we were a little playful, but definitely know wen to get serious at de rite time! i miss studying wif dem.. during our O's.. it was stressful, but in a gd wae..we motivated each other..helped each other.. it was a mutual thing n we were like sisters! de PIGS! i'll nv forget u all. :)

time flies n we r soon goin to step out to de workin society.. i kinda look foward, yet a bit hesistant. i wanna earn $$ myself, noe how it feels like.. stuff lidat. by den, dunno if we'll stil contact each other so often. *sob sob* ppl cum n go.. is tt life?

hai..will b going to fort canning park wif my parent tml..have dinner there, n also c de fireworks. not so enthu bout de fireworks, but tout it wld b gd to bring my parents there. i shld consider treatin dem yea? (altho im kinda broke) they brought me up for 19 yrs, yet i dun seem to hav done anythg to show my appreciation. *grin*

wonder wad he's doin tml..prob out wif de ger watchin fireworks? hai..

in a lost position rite now..dunno wad i shld do exactly.. life's nt reali gd for me, but i noe i shouldnt b complaining cos i have at least a bunch of gd buddies n family. tink im simply too greedy.. :(

sianz..shall go slp soon..*yawn* my stomach n back beta dun b pain tml! i cant go to de gym..arghh...

oh ya Ro, if i can finish studyin my stuff, i dun mind joining u all at Rouge on Saturday. hav to confirm again! hope to cya soon babe! miss ya *muack*

life's a merry-go-round..it makes me giddy sometimes..prob i shldnt fall in love.. no one appreciates wad i did, or prolly has taken granted of it.. my existence has no meaning to some..