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The Invitation- Oriah Mountain Dreamer
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing. It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love for your dream for the adventure of being alive. It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon... I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain mine or your own without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy mine or your own if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful to be realistic to remember the limitations of being human. It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy. I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence. I want to know if you can live with failure yours and mine and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes.” It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children. It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back. It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments. What you need to know
Name: Meggyo Status: in a relationship Occupation: student at Slippery Rock Unviersity Majors: exercise science and enlgish lit Location: Hershey PA for now Who I am: a ridiculous short girl who is trying to live the most now while looking so eagerly foward to the rest of her life Where I wish I was: in his arms Current question: should I stop wishing for things to go back to how they used to be? Song of the day: ps. if this is austin by Brad Paisley The Dance- OMD
I have sent you my invitation, the note inscribed on the palm of my hand by the fire of living. Don’t jump up and shout, “Yes, this is what I want! Let’s do it!” Just stand up quietly and dance with me. Show me how you follow your deepest desires, spiraling down into the ache within the ache, and I will show you how I reach inward and open outward to feel the kiss of the Mystery, sweet lips on my own, every day. Don’t tell me you want to hold the whole world in your heart. Show me how you turn away from making another wrong without abandoning yourself when you are hurt and afraid of being unloved. Tell me a story of who you are, and see who I am in the stories I live. And together we will remember that each of us always has a choice. Don’t tell me how wonderful things will be . . . some day. Show me you can risk being completely at peace, truly okay with the way things are right now in this moment, and again in the next and the next and the next. . . I have heard enough warrior stories of heroic daring. Tell me how you crumble when you hit the wall, the place you cannot go beyond by the strength of your own will. What carries you to the other side of that wall, to the fragile beauty of your own humanness? And after we have shown each other how we have set and kept the clear, healthy boundaries that help us live side by side with each other, let us risk remembering that we never stop silently loving those we once loved out loud. Take me to the places on the earth that teach you how to dance, the places where you can risk letting the world break your heart. And I will take you to the places where the earth beneath my feet and the stars overhead make my heart whole again and again. Show me how you take care of business without letting business determine who you are. When the children are fed but still the voices within and around us shout that soul’s desires have too high a price, let us remind each other that it is never about the money. Show me how you offer to your people and the world the stories and the songs you want our children’s children to remember. And I will show you how I struggle not to change the world, but to love it. Sit beside me in long moments of shared solitude, knowing both our absolute aloneness and our undeniable belonging. Dance with me in the silence and in the sound of small daily words, holding neither against me at the end of the day. And when the sound of all the declarations of our sincerest intentions has died away on the wind, dance with me in the infinite pause before the next great inhale of the breath that is breathing us all into being, not filling the emptiness from the outside or from within. Don’t say, “Yes!” Just take my hand and dance with me. | thoughts from a wastebasket Wednesday. 3.16.06 00:51am The subject title is the same as a poem my brother wrote when he was 16 and won tons of awards for and was published, if u want u can probably google it. It seems fitting for this next entry. I realized that unless i ask or unless i force my way into a conversation with krista kate and these two girls kim and krystian who i have been hanging out with i am neither heard nor noticed nor cared about... dodds steve said that he is sorry to hear that cuz he is the only one who is online right now and so am i cuz i shouldve realized it sooner. Today was not a good day and now here I am, with the room key while Kate and Krista are probably in Kims room drinking or something trying to be tough asses. I just finished reading Vanishing Acts by Jodi Picoult and there are days I wish I could disappear like she did and not remember what came before. The story had some predictable twists like the mother's boyfriend sexually abusing her and them kowing it from the medical records... I guessed it before they even brought it up. But the really interesting thing was the memory concept and how it can change how we can make it what we want it to be and we can see what we want to see or what we believe so much is really happening. I have been thinking about my own life a lot lately about my memories, if there are ones I have represed to save myself, of why I hated going to my grandparents house and why I still hate it. Why I cant look my grandfather in the eye and why I get a sick gut feeling around my parents friends Bob. Recently on this trip I have had that sick gut feeling almot every morning. Also, why do I associate the new car smell with death or... well there are a million and one things I could think are squirky and they could or could not have a logical reason to them. Now I am talking to Dodds Steve about God, probably one of the few times the subject has come up with a friend... once with caitlin Holland and once with Keith, but that is about it. How can I believe in the reincarnation of a soul and not believe in God, steve asks. He said hed be very glad if I went to Campus Crusade with him, which is the second offer I have had in my life. First was Caitlin, she even sent me a Bible two years ago for xmas in hopes that I would read it and find some answers. Matt is also online and I know he has found comfort in God too in past recent years... one of those things that has never left him in hard times. For me what I rely on is my family and my closest friends, which right now is no one but Keith and Amanda I guess would be next but she is not around enough. I once studied with the Mormans, not really by my choice but Tim was studying with them and wanted moral support one summer, so as a good friend I went. I gained a lot out of it and learned a lot about the religion, but by the time they got to the purpose of life and the afterlife which is better than life on earth and the real living u do, I couldnt believe anymore and never went back. I cant undermine my life and purpose here to help others and influence the world we have created as much as the religious folks want us to. I just cant. "A Funny thing time."... it is. I wish it would slow down. I wish I could stop growing older, that I woulnt be so afraid to die sooner than I want, that I wasnt going to be 20 years old when I feel like I should only be 17. What is my favorite color? It has changed throughout my life... when I was little it was purple by far, then changed to blue, then burgundy, now i think tho if i were to look at a color wheel it would be either forrest green like deep emeralds or majesticly royal purple. What is ur idea guy? dodds steve asks... I think he must be filling out some survey on me or something. haha. I answer him. Christs Legion: what's your ideal guy? meggyo86: keith Christs Legion: what about him makes him ideal? meggyo86: he loves me more than i love myself, hes been thru the best and worst of my life, i can talk to him about anything, although he doesnt express himself very much hes trying to get better at it, he thinks of others , he doesnt judge ppl, he is my calmer half, hes everything i am not MMMM TEA. Alcohol doesnt even taste good and the pros definitely in my mind do not outweigh the cons. To drink enough to get drunk means u have to drink stuff that doesnt taste good, and cuz I dont have patience or the bladder to wait for 20 drinks to go down... I would have to drink things that tasted like a hair salon as kate said her daquari tasted like today and like nail polish remover which I thought vodka tasted like... tea is better for me anyway. This is nice, writing a blog, talking to people about stuff, especially people who I normally wouldnt be like San San from MD, dodds steve, and matt, while drinking cups of tea, listening to people chat in german... all in my americorps fleece and pajama pants. This may have been what I needed.,...quiet me time. I talked to my cousin who I have never met who goes to Duquesne... random but I was lonely. We talked about traveling and homeless people. I should probably head on up soon so that kate or krista dont have to wake up to let me into the room... or just stay up till 10am but i doubt I can do that. That three hour nap this afternoon screwed me up tho. 3 Comments. ya know.... i think you're my ideal girl. my ideal woman. my soulmate. i love you meghan. » PureRidiculous on 2006-03-16 08:03:08 I have removed this message What words... super, a brilliant phrase buy cheap xanax online True idea order ultram Rather valuable message xanax xr 2mg It agree, very amusing opinion purchase xanax bars And where at you logic? order xanax bars 84ae07 » Shelton (212.113.47.87) on 2011-06-08 08:39:25 Exact messages What excellent phrase buy soma online Your opinion, this your opinion xanax cost It is very valuable phrase buy phentermine In a fantastic way! generic clomid And you so tried to do? gabapentin price 4ae073e » Mitchell (219.139.158.59) on 2011-07-10 03:01:30
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