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The Invitation- Oriah Mountain Dreamer
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.
What you need to know
Name: Meggyo
Status: in a relationship
Occupation: student at Slippery Rock Unviersity
Majors: exercise science and enlgish lit
Location: Hershey PA for now
Who I am: a ridiculous short girl who is trying to live the most now while looking so eagerly foward to the rest of her life
Where I wish I was: in his arms
Current question: should I stop wishing for things to go back to how they used to be?
Song of the day: ps. if this is austin by Brad Paisley
The Dance- OMD
I have sent you my invitation,
the note inscribed on the palm of my hand by the fire of living.
Don’t jump up and shout, “Yes, this is what I want! Let’s do it!”
Just stand up quietly and dance with me.

Show me how you follow your deepest desires,
spiraling down into the ache within the ache,
and I will show you how I reach inward and open outward
to feel the kiss of the Mystery, sweet lips on my own, every day.

Don’t tell me you want to hold the whole world in your heart.
Show me how you turn away from making another wrong without abandoning yourself when you are hurt and afraid of being unloved.

Tell me a story of who you are,
and see who I am in the stories I live.
And together we will remember that each of us always has a choice.

Don’t tell me how wonderful things will be . . . some day.
Show me you can risk being completely at peace,
truly okay with the way things are right now in this moment,
and again in the next and the next and the next. . .

I have heard enough warrior stories of heroic daring.
Tell me how you crumble when you hit the wall,
the place you cannot go beyond by the strength of your own will.
What carries you to the other side of that wall, to the fragile beauty of your own humanness?

And after we have shown each other how we have set and kept the clear, healthy boundaries that help us live side by side with each other, let us risk remembering that we never stop silently loving
those we once loved out loud.

Take me to the places on the earth that teach you how to dance,
the places where you can risk letting the world break your heart.
And I will take you to the places where the earth beneath my feet and the stars overhead make my heart whole again and again.

Show me how you take care of business
without letting business determine who you are.
When the children are fed but still the voices within and around us shout that soul’s desires have too high a price,
let us remind each other that it is never about the money.

Show me how you offer to your people and the world
the stories and the songs
you want our children’s children to remember.
And I will show you how I struggle not to change the world,
but to love it.

Sit beside me in long moments of shared solitude,
knowing both our absolute aloneness and our undeniable belonging.
Dance with me in the silence and in the sound of small daily words,
holding neither against me at the end of the day.

And when the sound of all the declarations of our sincerest
intentions has died away on the wind,
dance with me in the infinite pause before the next great inhale
of the breath that is breathing us all into being,
not filling the emptiness from the outside or from within.

Don’t say, “Yes!”
Just take my hand and dance with me.
It's the season for love, generosity and forgiven
Saturday. 12.24.05 12:28 pm
I have to work on a lot of things... but even though I know what I SHOULD be doing, I don't WANT to, not yet, but I have to or else I'm gonna lose more than I am trying to gain. I wish I wasn't dissappointed, but I guess that is what happens when you form expectations that in your heart you know probably won't come through... I learned, but I failed again cuz I tried to believe. There are just some facts in life, and I must accept them. I can't change them at this point, not till I am older and more on my own where I can say, "fuck you".... although I hope I never really do say that, just think it.

I probably should've gone with the more practical, fair plan, which was to actually show up to something so I wouldn't be the odd one out of the "memories and oh remember this time during new years?". Oh well, I made my choice, rather a rash one, but I made it, and now I'll just grit and bear the horrible nastolgic stories that I will be hearing for the first whole month back at school of times that I decided not to come cuz I put the dick before the chick. Whew, anyway, *shrug* I was never big into the New Years anyway... I guess cuz my parents never were. It would be nice to have a cool New Years tho, mine have been quite drab my entire life.

I keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason, and I just have to make the best of what people hand to me. I wish I wasn't so plan oriented. I just need stuff to look foward to especially during a freakin break for a month, when there is NOTHING to wake up for. *sigh* at least I'll have three youngins that might lift my spirits. Maybe I'll take them out to a movie... I miss my family. Weird cuz I never said that, but last night I cried, cuz I miss them, and I really felt the love they have for me and I for them, and that they only want what is best for me and I for them. This is really an important holiday this year for many many reasons. A lot of tough times and I wish we were ALL together for it.

The gym was crowded today, only open 8-12 I guess. I made it but felt like complete shit and an ass, so I left after 40 minutes. At least I did something. My skin around my mouth is red again, I thought I outgrew that... damn. I should eat something... and go chat with the madre, whom I love more and more eat day too. I need to express myself better and stop holding grudges, and I really need to just... let go. Maybe that'll be my new year's resolution.
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