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The Invitation- Oriah Mountain Dreamer
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.
What you need to know
Name: Meggyo
Status: in a relationship
Occupation: student at Slippery Rock Unviersity
Majors: exercise science and enlgish lit
Location: Hershey PA for now
Who I am: a ridiculous short girl who is trying to live the most now while looking so eagerly foward to the rest of her life
Where I wish I was: in his arms
Current question: should I stop wishing for things to go back to how they used to be?
Song of the day: ps. if this is austin by Brad Paisley
The Dance- OMD
I have sent you my invitation,
the note inscribed on the palm of my hand by the fire of living.
Don’t jump up and shout, “Yes, this is what I want! Let’s do it!”
Just stand up quietly and dance with me.

Show me how you follow your deepest desires,
spiraling down into the ache within the ache,
and I will show you how I reach inward and open outward
to feel the kiss of the Mystery, sweet lips on my own, every day.

Don’t tell me you want to hold the whole world in your heart.
Show me how you turn away from making another wrong without abandoning yourself when you are hurt and afraid of being unloved.

Tell me a story of who you are,
and see who I am in the stories I live.
And together we will remember that each of us always has a choice.

Don’t tell me how wonderful things will be . . . some day.
Show me you can risk being completely at peace,
truly okay with the way things are right now in this moment,
and again in the next and the next and the next. . .

I have heard enough warrior stories of heroic daring.
Tell me how you crumble when you hit the wall,
the place you cannot go beyond by the strength of your own will.
What carries you to the other side of that wall, to the fragile beauty of your own humanness?

And after we have shown each other how we have set and kept the clear, healthy boundaries that help us live side by side with each other, let us risk remembering that we never stop silently loving
those we once loved out loud.

Take me to the places on the earth that teach you how to dance,
the places where you can risk letting the world break your heart.
And I will take you to the places where the earth beneath my feet and the stars overhead make my heart whole again and again.

Show me how you take care of business
without letting business determine who you are.
When the children are fed but still the voices within and around us shout that soul’s desires have too high a price,
let us remind each other that it is never about the money.

Show me how you offer to your people and the world
the stories and the songs
you want our children’s children to remember.
And I will show you how I struggle not to change the world,
but to love it.

Sit beside me in long moments of shared solitude,
knowing both our absolute aloneness and our undeniable belonging.
Dance with me in the silence and in the sound of small daily words,
holding neither against me at the end of the day.

And when the sound of all the declarations of our sincerest
intentions has died away on the wind,
dance with me in the infinite pause before the next great inhale
of the breath that is breathing us all into being,
not filling the emptiness from the outside or from within.

Don’t say, “Yes!”
Just take my hand and dance with me.
forgiveness
Wednesday. 11.2.05 12:07 am
that's right... it's gonna all be ok, cuz u know what? I got myself into this and I am gonna stick to it... maybe u can't do everything but at least u can give all and as much of urself to one thing, and that is what my goal is. To take it for what it's worth and only give my all, so that in the end, if there is an end, I will have known that I at least gave my all... that is what I want from myself that I haven't been able to do for a long time. I need to take the energy I have spent focusing inwards, and gear it outwards. Sure insecurities are gonna be there, but whose keeping me from blaming myself too... I need to start doing more of that. Last night at the lecture River talked about forgiving everyone in her life. That is the step I am working on and I think is the cause of a lot of my problems over the past 6 months. Ever since I realized what was happening, my insecurities about trusting someone's words, trusting someone with my self, with my friendship, and with my body was taken away... and then I found myself not able to trust anyone else either... and old by gones were now prominant here and nows in my head everyday. It's not your fault, and I try to tell myself it's not mine cuz that is what all the professionals say is true... so maybe it's not so much about not being able to trust others, as it is not being able to trust my own instinct, something that I rely on all the time. Not only was I misguided by someone, but also by myself... or maybe I wasn't and I just wanted to be stupid for once and... look at how much that screwed me up. Forgiveness... have I forgiven him? I guess that would be the next step... since I've gone through the repression, neglection balh blah blah and hit the hatred stage over the summer once I fully understood what happened... and now onto forgiveness... well if River could forgive 6 men for raping her then I need to get my head on straight and forgive him too. There's a lot more guilt involved when not only were u lied to but then also violated, then just being raped by a gang of strangers. I think that's my glitch... that damn guilt. I know that I can't carry this burden anymore of soon I will need to go see someone, like Amanda said I should... haha sis always there to be blunt. I thought about it,... then like everyone else who denies that they need help said I was too busy. Opening my heart again is gonna be hard, but I have to, cuz there is someone out there who if I let, maybe I will stop seeing the negatives, and the fear of being lied to won't rule my days, if I trust again... I want to, cuz I want to give you everything and not lie myself.
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