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The Invitation- Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

What you need to know

Name: Meggyo
Status: in a relationship
Occupation: student at Slippery Rock Unviersity
Majors: exercise science and enlgish lit
Location: Hershey PA for now
Who I am: a ridiculous short girl who is trying to live the most now while looking so eagerly foward to the rest of her life
Where I wish I was: in his arms
Current question: should I stop wishing for things to go back to how they used to be?
Song of the day: ps. if this is austin by Brad Paisley

The Dance- OMD

I have sent you my invitation,
the note inscribed on the palm of my hand by the fire of living.
Don’t jump up and shout, “Yes, this is what I want! Let’s do it!”
Just stand up quietly and dance with me.

Show me how you follow your deepest desires,
spiraling down into the ache within the ache,
and I will show you how I reach inward and open outward
to feel the kiss of the Mystery, sweet lips on my own, every day.

Don’t tell me you want to hold the whole world in your heart.
Show me how you turn away from making another wrong without abandoning yourself when you are hurt and afraid of being unloved.

Tell me a story of who you are,
and see who I am in the stories I live.
And together we will remember that each of us always has a choice.

Don’t tell me how wonderful things will be . . . some day.
Show me you can risk being completely at peace,
truly okay with the way things are right now in this moment,
and again in the next and the next and the next. . .

I have heard enough warrior stories of heroic daring.
Tell me how you crumble when you hit the wall,
the place you cannot go beyond by the strength of your own will.
What carries you to the other side of that wall, to the fragile beauty of your own humanness?

And after we have shown each other how we have set and kept the clear, healthy boundaries that help us live side by side with each other, let us risk remembering that we never stop silently loving
those we once loved out loud.

Take me to the places on the earth that teach you how to dance,
the places where you can risk letting the world break your heart.
And I will take you to the places where the earth beneath my feet and the stars overhead make my heart whole again and again.

Show me how you take care of business
without letting business determine who you are.
When the children are fed but still the voices within and around us shout that soul’s desires have too high a price,
let us remind each other that it is never about the money.

Show me how you offer to your people and the world
the stories and the songs
you want our children’s children to remember.
And I will show you how I struggle not to change the world,
but to love it.

Sit beside me in long moments of shared solitude,
knowing both our absolute aloneness and our undeniable belonging.
Dance with me in the silence and in the sound of small daily words,
holding neither against me at the end of the day.

And when the sound of all the declarations of our sincerest
intentions has died away on the wind,
dance with me in the infinite pause before the next great inhale
of the breath that is breathing us all into being,
not filling the emptiness from the outside or from within.

Don’t say, “Yes!”
Just take my hand and dance with me.

getting better all the time...

Tuesday. 7.5.05 5:09 pm

Instead of those lyrics to a country song, it seems to be just getting harder and harder all the time. With every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, so when one experiences great joy and companionship, when that is taken away (even momentarily) it is replaced with feelings of loss and helplessness. Just goes to show how much better things are getting, by the harshness of the leaving. The more time we spend together, the more you become part of my day, not just in a phone call, but in ur presence, ur touch, ur smile, ur laugh... even with you, every moment I wait for another peck of a kiss, or a silly grin... and without you, I... am at a loss of a lot of expectations.

We make a better team everytime we try something new, and now not only do I doubt I could do some things on my own, more, I don't want to. I want to have u to talk to, u to calm me down, u to do the jobs I am afraid or not capable of doing. You know me like no other, this is true. You know most of what makes me upset, how I work, what I am and am not capable of doing, how to calm me, how to cheer me up, how to listen when maybe even listening is more than what I need. My mom just asked me to make pizza dough, and in the process my dad came home, while I was standing helplessly crying at the cabinet, trying to get all the ingredients down, which of course I could not reach... but you could and you did, the last time I made pizza crust.

At times like those when I need your helping hand I miss you most. Whether that hand is in the form of a hug, a taller arm, a smile, an "it's ok", a "do u want to go to the gym?", an "I'll get it"...

The other times I miss you are when I have a wonderful day... and when you are here I not only get to share my days with you, but they are wonderful because of you.

I layed down on my pop's lap just a little while ago cuz I was crying about not having u here to reach the whole wheat flour for me, and stuff (which I swear is because of these pills), and there is a different form of comfort found in a father than a significant other. One that you know will never leave in heart, so you aren't as afaid of it being the last snuggle, no matter how old you are, or of him not wanting to snuggle anymore... but every moment I spend with you I never want to let go, partly because I just found you, and you've only been witness to 2 out of my 19.5 years of life, and partly cuz there is still this thought in the back of my head that unlike a father, life can take away boyfriends much easier.

I never realized what your smell was, (besides laundry detergent and ur cologne) until today... it's sweet, just like you with a slight tinge of ur clothes, but more so, a comfort, reassurance... a soft reminder of what your hug is like. *nod* that's ur smell. I think there are a few tear drops on ur pillow now.

I fell in love with you all over again in the wave pool, our last time out... and this past visit it was the hugs from behind and the single kisses on my neck, the watching you paint and take care of me, watching you learn how to play one of my favorite songs, and of course... "remember the time when we stayed up all night talking?"

Remember: I'd rather not get into disgreements, than get make up cards and flowers.

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