i used to be such a downer, a real pessimist. then i changed, i don't know what my turning point was honestly. but i started to be optimistic. i was a happy person, but tonight i kinda went in between.

because, i was working & i seem to want everyone's attention, that won't give me any attention. like, i'd die if alyssa just, looked at me once even. seriously, i wish she'd actually talk to me sometime. she doesn't know what she does to me, it's not lust because i have the greatest girlfriend but there's something about her, she just makes me happy & i just wish she showed more interest in my emotions.

she used to be good to me, then suddenly, it stopped. that's all i wanted though, was someone like her, to hang out with.

like i said, i don't like alyssa like that, she makes me want to work there. celina & karen make my day so much better. they just roll with their jokes, it comes naturally, it's crazy & i love it.

& alyssa was treating me like we had just met & i hated it, ugh =\

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