The difference between us
Thursday. 4.12.12 6:44 pm
�I, um� hm.� The hesitation lasted longer than I anticipated. I glanced up from the latin cuisine set before me and toward the latina sitting beside me. I answered the only way I knew how.
�I suppose I just want to do well�wait, no. I want to do good.�
�See, that�s the difference between you and I, Jonathan,� Dinara tells me with a smirk. �You want to do good. I want to do well.�
Dinara and I have grown remarkably closer over the past few months. Scheduled hour-long lunch dates evolved into dinner dates that lasted for hours, followed by art shows, movie debuts, riverside walks, and fireside talks. While there is a remarkable chemistry between us, I can't bring myself to give what I suspect she wants: true commitment. A label, even.
Her future career goals are standard fare as far as law school goes. The mantra she�s pushed on me over the past couple months, �prestige matters,� might as well be the slogan for these risk-averse brainiacs that surround me here. They long to work for top law firm, making top dollars, and living in the top cities. Even if the cost is, in my opinion, their soul. Personally, I could never work for a firm that represents BP oil against residents of new orleans who lost their homes and livelihoods -- even if they were paying me 20,000 a month like her and so many others.
To be fair, I've been getting a lot of pushback on my career decisions as well. Not only from my classmates like Dinara but even from people I hold in higher regard like Caitlin.
She doesn't really get me anymore.
Not sure if she ever did.
But more on that later.
She may be holding back without the label while you want things to proceed without the label.
» Nuttz on 2012-04-14 09:31:07
It's interesting how your experience at Harvard has been so different than my experience at Brown. I sort of expected to find more prestige-oriented high-rollers from pseudo-aristocratic families at Brown, but most people were just like the people I met at Pomona, very idealistic young people obsessed with social justice and the environment. Convinced that working for anything but a non-profit made you a sell-out. Maybe that's why people say that it's the "weird Ivy". Well, for what it's worth di-di, I don't think your desire to do good in the world is a bad career choice. You have been serious about helping the downtrodden since as long as I've known you, and not in a superficial or naive way, but in a hands-on, active way.
I only hope that whatever you do, you finish that Harvard degree, my didi. With a Harvard law degree, the world is your oyster. The good that you could do for others multiplies 1000-fold.
» Zanzibar on 2012-04-15 04:13:00
It's a fear of being poor that drives most people.
Perhaps there should exist a counter-fear of being so rich that you lose yourself in the money-making process.
» Unicornasaurus on 2012-04-16 10:41:09
Come on out west and work in Portland! You'd probably hate what I do, we're third-party neutrals, no advocacy allowed. And it's environmental public policy, I don't know if that really interests you at all.
We had a Harvard kid apply here. He interviewed too. He didn't understand the role we play as substance people and actually called the logistical work we do "lower level stuff."
He thinks my job is low level. :(
» Amelie on 2012-04-16 02:39:35
Also, I used an app for gchat the other day and I think it broke or something. So I'll have to uninstall it to make it work again. Stupid phone.
» Amelie on 2012-04-16 02:40:45
oh my god I don't get THAT sweaty, haha. It's mostly just my face gets really hot and sweaty. if my wedding actually happens, come on over!
» Amelie on 2012-04-16 03:45:55
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