Aries:
You will recieve a home beer-making kit as a gift but will be indecisive about choosing between making ale, porter, or lager. Put down the box, look into your soul, and ask "What would Jesus brew?"

Taurus:
You will recieve an assortment of chewing tobacco as a gift but will be indecisive about choosing between Copenhagen or Southern Pride. Put down the box, look into your sould, and ask, "What would Jesus chew?"

Gemini:
You will recieve a kitchen appliance capable of deliciously melting either chocolate or cheese, but will be indecisive about which to prepare first. Put down the matches, look into your soul, and ask, "What would Jesus fondue?"

Cancer:
You will recieve an investment banking kit as a gift but will be indecisive about choosing stocks. Put down the kit, look into your soul, and ask, "What would Jesus accrue?"

Leo:
You will start a line of Christian clothing outfitters but will be indecisive about what to call the brand. Put down the fall catalogue, look into your soul, and ask "What about 'Jesus Crew'?"

Virgo:
You will be transported back in time to the Last Supper. None of the disciples will give away the secret ingredients to the meal, however. But you MUST KNOW. Put down your spoon, look into your sould, and ask, "What would Jesus stew?"

Libra:
You will recieve a rather harsh noogie from a bully, but will be indecisive in telling your parents, a teacher, or God. Uncleanch your fists, look into your soul, and ask, "What could Jesus do?"

Scorpio:
You will be visited by a pair of Christian missionaries, but will be unable to recall the basic precepts of their religion. Stall for time, look into your soul, and ask, "What did Jesus do?"

Sagittarius:
You will meet three beautiful girls at a party this weekend and be indecisive about which one you should make out with. Put aside your morals, look into your soul, and ask, "Whom would Jesus sedu ... ce?"

Aquaricorn:
You will recieve a Crucifixtion Choose Your Own Adventure novel as a gift but will be indecisive about choosing between skipping to page 10, skipping to page 15, or skipping to page 26. Pick up the book, look into your soul, and ask, "What should Jesus do?"

Pisces:
You will find you have a choice between going to see The Whethermen show this friday in the Chem. Auditorium at 7 pm and doing something else. Put down your Solo cup, look into your soul, and realize that if Jesus were living today, he'd really enjoy improv comedy.


Later.

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» Shayne (222.165.130.214) on 2010-09-04 08:45:02

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