sparklyraindrops10's Weblog Site • NuTang.com

*sigh*

The beginning of a new year and the end of 2004.

I can't believe that it has all already come to an end and now it is the year of my graduation from highschool...it seriously is a scary thought...So, I guess I should make my New Years resolution, since I didn't make one yet...and everyone always has one, even tho nearly no one actually keeps to them...maybe this year I'll actually accomplish something.

So, I figure, a new years resolution should be something challenging, yet possible, and affordable..lol.

*My New Years Resolution for 2000 and five!*
-->Get a job and save the money for car insurance and moving out.
-->Work on finding out what school I'm going to finish from...
-->Stay healthy and don't get fat...meaning maybe make more of an effort to go to the gym, or exercise, and eat less salty foods.
-->Top priority, honestly try to improve my relationship with the person that I love because if i don't things will continue to go downhill and there could be a tragic ending or if not an ending, many hurt feelings and depressed someones.
-->See a dermatologist...I do not want scars thank you.

Well, that doesn't seem too hard of a list. Now all I have to do is actually do it, that's the hard part. Well for me the even more harder part would be to remember what I said I was going to do..how freakin sad.

So, to recap this year...nevermind, I don't want to do that. It will take forever and I will seriously blabble on for about an hour about all these stupid little things that I remember.

In other news, Sojourn is coming up quickly, have to start getting ready for that, it will be very emotional, but I am very excited because this time it will be a whole new experience with new people, new ideas, new emotions, and hopefully, a better outcome...no, not hopefully, there WILL be a better outcome because I know that this will be good for us, we will learn so much about each other and about ourselves, and learning can never do you harm...even if it's bad news you are learning about, it will always benefit you sometime or another.

You know what I don't understand? Why things happen the way they do. I mean sure, some people say, things happen for a reason...or everyone has their own purpose, or even, because God made you that way...but is there really such a thing as fate?? Or is it all just done one step at a time, not planned, and kind of, depending on where you are and the decisions you make for yourself. I think a little bit of both is true. For one, I know that meeting C was not just some accident, I feel like it was supposed to happen, like there has always been something special, like there will always be some kind of way that she is in my life. Does anyone else ever feel that way? I don't know. Only they do I guess. I guess the whole reason I asked the question at the beginning is because I wonder if me being alone for two New Year's in a row was supposed to happen, that way next year, or the year after, when I'm on my own, I can have an extra good New Years that means so much more to me than some regular party or get together while everyone gets drunk and kisses someone they care about when that clock strikes midnight.

So, I guess that is all I have to say for tonight...it is very late, I have a lot of thoughts running thru my head, and I can honestly say I am nervous...nervous for what is about to happen next...it's a new year, that can mean new beginnings...or it can mean, another year past where we will continue to grow. I hope things get better soon, that is really what I wish for. I can't think of anything else that I could wish for more than that...for things to get better and not get so angry and just...full of resentment. damn, there i went again, tried to say by, and managed to type out another gorgeous yet depressing paragraph.

Im really leaving this time...hehe.
-----Happy New Year-----2005! YES!