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A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness." ~ D.H. Lawrence "Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?" "Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost." ~ Seneca "People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect." ~ Daydream Nation "All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death." ~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes "The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road." ~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita "It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend." ~ William Blake Think about it Musicalities! Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics Web Comics and Such A Distant Soil (Some nudity) The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff) Aquapunk Axe Cop Basic Instructions Bear Nuts Beeserker Blue Milk Special Bug Buttersafe ChannelATE Cigarro & Cerveja Crunchy Bunches Curia Regis Cyanide and Happiness dead winter (has some explicit stuff) Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?) Diesel Sweeties DUBBLEBABY Eat That Toast! E-merl.com The End Evil Diva Evil Inc. Existential Comics The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon For Lack of a Better Comic Forming (Explicit) Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?) Mirror The Last Halloween Last Train to Old Town L.A.W.L.S. The League of Evil Genius Legend of Bill Living With Insanity (some nudity) Love Me Nice Married to the Sea Meaty Yogurt Medium Large The Meek Metacarpolis Monsterhood Monsterkind The Moon Prince Moth (Some nudity) Mr. Lovenstein Muddlers Beat Natalie Dee Nedroid The Non-Adventures of Wonderella Optipess Out There Owen's Uncles Phuzzy Comics Political Cartoonists Index Poorly Drawn Lines Powernap The Property of Hate Red Meat Rice Boy Robbie and Bobby Rosscott, Inc. Safely Endangered Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Savage Chickens Scary Go Round Scenes from a Multiverse The Secret Knots Serenity Rose Stand Still. Stay Silent Stinking Hellebore Strong Female Protagonist Subnormality Tales of Pylea Three Word Phrase (some nudity) Tiny Kitten Teeth Toothpaste for Dinner Trying Human (Some nudity) Two Guys and Guy Wilde Life Witchy xkcd Yellow Peril (PG-13) Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics The Abominable Charles Christopher The Adventures of Dr. McNinja The Adventures of Ellie Connelly American Hell Bag of Toast Bear in Mind Bobwhite The Book of Biff Brat-halla Brightest Broodhollow Bullfinch Camp Weedonwantcha Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff) Chainsawsuit Conspiracy Friends! Daisy is Dead Distillum Dream Life Dumm Comics Ectopiary (Some nudity) Edemia Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life A Fine Example Finn and Charlie are HITCHED Floodmud Freaks! Green Wake Gun Show Hark! A Vagrant Head Doctor Productions Hello with Cheese Helpful Figures Hollow Mountain IDK Comics Inscribing Ardi Intragalactic The Intrepid Girlbot JBabb Comics Kyle & Atticus Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space Letters to a Wild Boar Lovecraft is Missing Manta-man Meat and Plastic Minimalism Sucks Mis- Moe Moon Town The Nerds of Paradise Nimona No Reason Comics Odd-Fish One Swoop Fell Patches Pictures for Sad Children Raymondo Person A Redtail's Dream Riotfish Roy's Boys (PG 13?) Run Freak Run Saint's Way Shortpacked! Sin Titulo Snowflakes Split Lip Spooky Doofus SubCulture Super Buzzkill The Super Fogeys The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston Thermohalia Troubletown Mirror Ugly Girl YU + ME 2815 Monument Pure Flash Awesomeness Aardvardkbutter.com Angry Alien Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry The Frown Hoogerbrugge Other Bogleech Clients from Hell Brian Despain Creatures in My Head Damn You Auto Correct! Jhonen Vasquez's site Overheard in New York Passive Aggressive Notes Submarinechannel.com Superdickery UHpinions Whirled | Sleeping all the time Wednesday, May 23, 2018 For some reason I just want to sleep a bunch during the day. I don't feel awake until it's night. That seems problematic, given that my next semester starts next week and I have a class in the city that starts at 9:30am. Gonna have to get up at like 5:30am again to make it. Kyle came to visit me over the weekend. We went to Maker Faire and stayed at a cool hotel. Maker Faire was... not that amazing. It didn't have as many independent projects and things, and overall felt a lot more corporate and less interesting. Was kind of disappointing. I used to really like it. We had a decent time though, and got to see a prototype mech lumber around. I would post pictures from the hotel, but I forgot to take my camera with me there and KYLE HASN'T SENT ME THE PICTURES HE TOOK YET. >:C On Sunday I took him to ECS and met up with Trevor there for the first time in like... two and a half years. We didn't have much time to actually talk though, because the speaker ran over time and people had tons of questions afterwards. Will have to try to hang out some other time, I guess. I know I haven't written in awhile. It's not that I'm especially busy, although I have been up to stuff this past week and a half. I guess I'm just not feeling that motivated to write. --- On Monday night I hung out with my friend Matt again. We only hung out until 3am this time, haha. Watched part of the Animatrix and talked a bunch. It's interesting. It feels like it's becoming a close friendship even though we've only hung out three times. I guess, to be fair, we hang out quite a lot every time we hang out, but still. He said he felt like he had room for another close friend in his life. I think I do too, although I'm wary of committing to that label. I feel like a friendship needs to withstand the test of time before it deserves to be called close. Otherwise it's intimate, but its consistency is unproven. --- My iPod played this a few days ago and I've been thinking about it since then. "Shalott" by Emilie Autumn. She says "That' man's gonna be my death, 'cause he's all I ever wanted in my life --- When I saw my therapist on Monday, he made a suggestion that horrified me. He has latched onto this idea that I'm smarter than the average person, which I guess might line up with my experience in the world, but I feel averse to it. Anyway, he was posing hypotheticals, and said something along the lines of "suppose you were in the 99th percentile..." I didn't want to go along with that line of thought, even if it was an imaginary scenario. I mean, I'd be a genius if I were in the 99th percentile, and I'm definitely not a genius. I dunno, the idea of being way smarter than other people kind of scares me. I don't think I'm actually that far from other people in intelligence, but the theoretical possibility is uncomfortable. It seems like it would just be another barrier to being able to connect. My impression has been that people who are way smarter than other people only partner well with others when the average level people are serving some kind of support function to the smarter person's ambitions. That's not a setup I'd fit into. We also talked about me feeling like I have to train people to interact with me. It's not something that happens with friendships so much, but it's something I feel around romantic and therapy relationships. Anything with conflict resolution. Nobody knows how to be supportive to me and I have to teach them. I'm so tired of it. It's not that people don't make the effort, but... effort only gets you so far. I feel stuck in this choice between "appreciate people's effort even though the actions are unhelpful," "train people to do better but face them getting frustrated and giving up," and "stop trying entirely and just resign myself to not having mutually supportive relationships"... Why am I so difficult to provide emotional support to? I've worked a lot on not getting annoyed with people when they give me unsolicited (and usually obvious) advice. I tell myself that they care enough to try. It just doesn't make me feel any better. Ugh. 0 Comments.
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