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A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness." ~ D.H. Lawrence "Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?" "Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost." ~ Seneca "People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect." ~ Daydream Nation "All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death." ~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes "The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road." ~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita "It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend." ~ William Blake Think about it Musicalities! Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics Web Comics and Such A Distant Soil (Some nudity) The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff) Aquapunk Axe Cop Basic Instructions Bear Nuts Beeserker Blue Milk Special Bug Buttersafe ChannelATE Cigarro & Cerveja Crunchy Bunches Curia Regis Cyanide and Happiness dead winter (has some explicit stuff) Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?) Diesel Sweeties DUBBLEBABY Eat That Toast! E-merl.com The End Evil Diva Evil Inc. Existential Comics The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon For Lack of a Better Comic Forming (Explicit) Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?) Mirror The Last Halloween Last Train to Old Town L.A.W.L.S. The League of Evil Genius Legend of Bill Living With Insanity (some nudity) Love Me Nice Married to the Sea Meaty Yogurt Medium Large The Meek Metacarpolis Monsterhood Monsterkind The Moon Prince Moth (Some nudity) Mr. Lovenstein Muddlers Beat Natalie Dee Nedroid The Non-Adventures of Wonderella Optipess Out There Owen's Uncles Phuzzy Comics Political Cartoonists Index Poorly Drawn Lines Powernap The Property of Hate Red Meat Rice Boy Robbie and Bobby Rosscott, Inc. Safely Endangered Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Savage Chickens Scary Go Round Scenes from a Multiverse The Secret Knots Serenity Rose Stand Still. Stay Silent Stinking Hellebore Strong Female Protagonist Subnormality Tales of Pylea Three Word Phrase (some nudity) Tiny Kitten Teeth Toothpaste for Dinner Trying Human (Some nudity) Two Guys and Guy Wilde Life Witchy xkcd Yellow Peril (PG-13) Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics The Abominable Charles Christopher The Adventures of Dr. McNinja The Adventures of Ellie Connelly American Hell Bag of Toast Bear in Mind Bobwhite The Book of Biff Brat-halla Brightest Broodhollow Bullfinch Camp Weedonwantcha Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff) Chainsawsuit Conspiracy Friends! Daisy is Dead Distillum Dream Life Dumm Comics Ectopiary (Some nudity) Edemia Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life A Fine Example Finn and Charlie are HITCHED Floodmud Freaks! Green Wake Gun Show Hark! A Vagrant Head Doctor Productions Hello with Cheese Helpful Figures Hollow Mountain IDK Comics Inscribing Ardi Intragalactic The Intrepid Girlbot JBabb Comics Kyle & Atticus Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space Letters to a Wild Boar Lovecraft is Missing Manta-man Meat and Plastic Minimalism Sucks Mis- Moe Moon Town The Nerds of Paradise Nimona No Reason Comics Odd-Fish One Swoop Fell Patches Pictures for Sad Children Raymondo Person A Redtail's Dream Riotfish Roy's Boys (PG 13?) Run Freak Run Saint's Way Shortpacked! Sin Titulo Snowflakes Split Lip Spooky Doofus SubCulture Super Buzzkill The Super Fogeys The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston Thermohalia Troubletown Mirror Ugly Girl YU + ME 2815 Monument Pure Flash Awesomeness Aardvardkbutter.com Angry Alien Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry The Frown Hoogerbrugge Other Bogleech Clients from Hell Brian Despain Creatures in My Head Damn You Auto Correct! Jhonen Vasquez's site Overheard in New York Passive Aggressive Notes Submarinechannel.com Superdickery UHpinions Whirled | Why do I even pretend I'll try to sleep? Tuesday, June 14, 2016 I figured out a sort of workaround for my OKC issues. I just set my age to 96. No more visitors! No more hassle! But still available in case someone who was already talking to me wants to get in touch. Leaving for Hawaii tomorrow. And by "tomorrow" I really just mean "in a few hours," because it's like 1:30 AM and it's actually Wednesday and we're going to the airport at 6 AM. Gonna sleep a lot on that plane, lemme tell ya. Didn't make it to the gym today because Fro and Becka wanted to hang out in the evening, and the Zyrtec I took while babysitting (to keep from having any adverse reactions to the cats) made me suuuuuuuper sleepy. Ended up just napping as soon as I got home, then packed for Hawaii and headed out to Becka's. [6/14/2016 9:26:22 PM] J: oh man, my grandma pwned me the other day [6/14/2016 9:26:58 PM] J: you know how she was trying to argue the "well she's your friend, and she's a girl, right? That makes her a girlfriend." and i was like nooooooooooooo. [6/14/2016 9:27:26 PM] J: well we were on a walk one day, and i was looking at a tree, and was like "oh, look, there are blue berries growing on that tree." [6/14/2016 9:27:34 PM] J: and she goes, "those aren't blueberries" [6/14/2016 9:27:54 PM] J: and i'm like yeah, i know they're not BLUEEEEBERRIES, but they're berries that are blue, i mean [6/14/2016 9:28:00 PM] J: and she's like "oh, like your girlfriend?" [6/14/2016 9:28:03 PM] J: -______________- [6/14/2016 9:28:10 PM] J: i was in such defeat When I was at Becka's house, I was telling my friends about J, and Fro paused and looked at me very seriously and was like "I would be fine with it if you married him." I was munching on a tiropita and froze mid-bite when she said that, and was just staring at her like O_O. Was so unprepared for that statement. Like whoa whoa whoa, nobody said anything about that. We're just friends, and thoughts like that about the future are... out of place. Plus, having a good friendship doesn't necessarily mean you'd have a good relationship. >.> It's not like you just upgrade to a relationship by adding some affection into the mix... As tempting as it is to view things that simply, my past mistakes have taught me that it doesn't work that way for me. I mean, there are different levels of commitment, expectations, behaviors... I'm trying my hardest not to jump into anything without full consideration of the consequences. I know I can get overly optimistic in these contexts, and I'm trying not to fall into the same pattern as always. For reference, I feel like things more or less go like this: -Summer: Feel awesome, have awesome interactions, all sorts of great things -Fall: Whoops I'm getting depressed, things are starting to suck now -Winter: EVERYTHING GOES TO HELL -Spring: Well that sucked, starting to recover though So yeah... I'm really hesitant to judge anything based on these warm weather experiences. I know that I can be likable and fun and [insert whatever positive thing] when I'm not depressed. That's the me that's easy to handle. I feel like I've gotten to a point where my depression doesn't have a significant negative effect on my friendships anymore when it gets to that time of year, but I'm still working on how it affects romantic relationships. My lifestyle has changed a bit, though. I do exercise more (was looking up workouts on Fitness Blender tonight actually, so I hopefully don't become a couch potato in Hawaii), and I've been pushing myself to socialize wayyyyyy more than I did in past years. It helps that I've had actual friends to do that with, of course. The light box I got will also possibly help, though I haven't had a chance to try it out during the winter months. Still, I fully expect to get depressed, and I don't want it to ruin anything more for me. (I know it wasn't necessarily the primary cause in past things going wrong, but I feel like it must have been a considerable factor; in any case it doesn't make things easier) I hope someday I'll be over this fear that my depression will eventually drive away everyone I care about. It's been so hard, though, especially a lot of the times I've tried to be open and vulnerable and honest, it went really badly and I ended up feeling abandoned and anxious. But... things have been getting better, slowly but surely. And I do think everything will work out, in some way. Maybe not the way I want, maybe not any way I could expect, but somehow things will be okay. (I really believe that most of the time now!) "Getting Better" by The Beatles. 0 Comments.
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