On my way back from the hospice today, I lost control of the car while going around a curve when I was exiting a highway to merge onto a different highway. I didn't even have time to register what was happening, but I heard myself screaming as the car rolled and the roof bounced off the pavement. It landed back on its tires, and I sat there and just stared out the windshield until I realized that some people had stopped and were calling out to me to ask if I was okay.

All the back windows had shattered, the windshield was covered in cracks, the headlights were coming out, and the front left tire had blown out. My mom thinks that it's possible that there was something wrong with that tire that made me lose control. I don't know.

One of the drivers who had stopped called 911 for me, and the paramedics came very quickly. The police showed up almost immediately after, and asked me what had happened. It was hard to talk to all the people asking me questions because I couldn't stop crying. I feel very numb now, but for some reason I keep crying on and off anyway.

This was the first accident I've ever been in. I thought that my first accident would be something small, like accidentally running into someone's back bumper, not something that totaled the car I was driving. Nobody else hit me, at least, and nobody else was hurt as far as I know, so that's good.

The airbags didn't deploy somehow, and I don't know if things would have gone better or worse if they had. I don't really feel much at all right now. Just tired, I guess. Very tired.

---Edit---

Good thing for today:
-I somehow didn't die. I still don't understand how, but I didn't. When I was sitting on the curb waiting for the paramedics to come, I wondered if I actually had died, and this was just my ghost imagining what would have happened if I'd survived.

I don't know if this is really a "good thing" exactly, but I felt very un-self-conscious about crying in public today. It seemed like a perfectly reasonable thing to do, considering all that happened. Normally I am extremely self-conscious about crying in front of anyone, even my therapist (I haven't cried in front of him about anything yet, actually), but it didn't seem to matter at all after the car crash, which was good, because I couldn't really stop myself from crying.

Tomato duck is adorable.

Also, HOLY SHIT!! O.O Dude, I'm so glad you're not hurt! That's super scary!
» LostSoul13 on 2016-03-08 12:11:38

Not dying is a good thing!!!
If i could reach through the internet and hug you... I would!!! I've been in three car accidents... two were minor... one was not. I'm just glad you're ok!!
» Ravennah on 2016-03-08 10:07:09

scary stuff. glad you're alive.
» thaitanic on 2016-03-08 11:42:51

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