So I got a 285/300 on my presentation. Missed the maximum number of points I could've while still getting an A. That was a relief. I wasn't 100% sure I would get the grade I wanted on this. Should be smooth sailing for the rest of the quarter though!

The weekend with my boyfriend was nice, although he wasn't in the greatest mood yesterday when we went out. I ended up feeling really exhausted even though we were only out for a few hours. It was a sort of fatigue right behind my eyes, like there was a heavy cloud hanging there. The tiredness made things feel less real, so I was experiencing various levels of detachment while we were walking around.

I tried to describe it in terms of a building. Level 1 reality would be the ground floor, where everything feels pretty real and clear. Level 2 is further off the ground, so things are more distant and the details are harder to make out. I don't know how many levels there are, but it continues on in that fashion. I don't experience reality in a quadrant fashion so much anymore. Why that is, I don't know. Maybe I just haven't been derealized enough for it to manifest that way.

On Saturday we went to Staples and got a new chair for his desk. The one he already had is just a cheap folding chair from target that was too low for his comfort, so the new one is hopefully a little better. After coming back home we pretty much just... played Divinity: Original Sin the rest of the day, haha. It takes a long time to do things, but we've gotten decently good at it! And I'm still enjoying crafting various things. I wish we got more attribute points for leveling up, though. You only get one per level (sometimes not even one?) but there are like six different things you can put it into. I need a lot of dexterity because I use ranged weapons, though I didn't do a good job of building my character for that when we started... whoops. Neither of us really had any clue what we were doing when we built our characters though. It's taken us a while to put points in the things we need to be effective fighters, but I think we're definitely on the right track now.

Anyway, I've been cleaning the apartment while he's at work, as I usually do on the Mondays I'm here. He doesn't ask me to do it, but I guess I kind of like to regardless? I'm definitely not a neat freak, and my room is fairly messy, but he doesn't have much stuff in the apartment, so it seems very easy to just take care of it. There's too much stuff in my house, so it always seems like such a hassle to clean.

Back to school tomorrow... This quarter is going by very quickly. I think it's already week nine? Yikes.

I feel a sort of pulling inside me. It's similar to things I've felt in the past. Kind of like my inner self is a balloon and there's a heavy blanket covering it, pushing it down. I slept a lot today but I feel kind of tired now.

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Thinking a bit more about what it means to be strong vs. weak and things that "build character" when people experience them. Can you be strong without ever having faced anything that tested your strength?

I have no idea on the strong v weak, character building aspect.. I want to say yes, though.. some people are just well adjusted and solid, you know? and when shit does happen, they can still thrive despite not having the experience of pain before.. i dont know, just my 2 cents
» undisputed on 2015-03-02 07:06:29

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