I was at a party being a social recluse as always, and while the rowdy kids in the living room were dancing around in strobe light and waving their glow sticks, I sat alone on a small white couch perpendicular to the kitchen. This wasn't really my kind of crowd. Trying not to mope too much, I make small talk with a few of the people stumbling in and out of the kitchen to get more drinks. In between strangers my phone buzzes. I take it out and look at the name above the little animated phone on the LCD screen.
I shiver.
It's Matt.

I sigh a little and then answer. He's got nothing out of the ordinary to say, as usual, but he's been thinking about me lately and wants to visit me this Friday. I say OK. And really, the only thing I am not OK with is the lack of discussion that has gone on about... well... anything regarding our relationship and why is it exactly that we haven't talked in a few months. Oh well I guess I'll see what's up on Friday. I have no idea what he's been thinking about, and really he has no idea what I've been up to either. It's so strange not being involved in his life, but I have let myself go ahead and accept that. Not sure there was much more to it except that I wasn't going to sit there and cry over him any longer.

I talk Ben about all this sometimes and he's totally understanding. Which amazes me, maybe because I'm just not used to that kind of acceptance. Or perhaps he's just naive? Whatever it is, I'm glad it doesn't bother him... because it doesn't need to.

In all honesty I have mixed feelings about seeing him Friday. I'm kind of excited, kind of dreading it.

We'll see.

Why would you tell Ben?
» Dilated on 2007-09-18 06:59:01

Good Luck. I hope its not too awkward. You should set an alarm on your phone for 45 mins. after you think you'll get there so you can have a fake phone call if you want to leave. Whenever i feel awkward i brin something to fidget with...just a thought :)
» lyndeep on 2007-09-19 05:55:15

Glow sticks, eh?

Good luck with the ex thing. I remember when my current boyfriend was cool enough to let my ex-boyfriend (who's name is Matt, curiously enough) come visit me. It turned out to be okay.
» Chloefoxx on 2007-09-19 06:12:34

Good luck! =)
» Nuttz on 2007-09-21 02:04:42

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