There is more to a successful relationship than being in love.
And if you don't agree with that, you've never been in a committed relationship.

It takes a lot of time and effort to call an ex an "ex" with confidence, at least for me. But I think now I can finally say it and feel alright about it. Reading over my past posts I think about the progress I've made. I think I have done a pretty good job. I can see the confusion, but I think I knew all along the end result of this; It's amazing how powerful denial and habit can be.

What I realize now is that it was not love, or lack of love that broke Matt and I apart. It was simply that we both wanted different things from life. We both wanted to move in different directions. I still love him, and I believe pretty securely that he still loves me, it's just that we didn't work out. The confusing part was differentiating those two ideas. I had always thought one didn't come without the other. However, I know now that that's not true at all. Our love was strong, incredibly strong, and I realize that that's what made all this so hard. But despite our love sometimes we just did not get along, and became so frustrated with one another because what each of us wanted out of life was very different.

When I think about our relationship and everything that it was I still get a little fog in my eyes, but it's no longer a yearning or a desperation. Just simple sadness. But I know everything is going to be okay. Everything IS okay.

My advice to anyone in a similar situation would be just to hold on to yourself. You KNOW yourself, and you know that you are strong, so be strong. Also, you have to let go of the situation. There is no instant cure for emotional pain. There is only time and you've got to trust that. And trust yourself. Like I said, you KNOW yourself more than you think you do, trust yourself.

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On a somewhat related and unrelated note, I am in another relationship and I AM calling it a relationship now. Admittedly it was too soon to ever start anything when we got started, and it probably DID start as a rebound. Luckily the guy I'm with is fantastically understanding about everything. All I have to do is explain my worries to him and he just seems to know what to do. It's starting to get serious and that makes me feel two things. Excited, and Scared. But that's normal, right? Haha... I guess that's what anyone feels when something gets started... but I just feel a little more excited and scared than I thought I would. It's scary. Letting someone else in like that. But it's fun, and he's awesome and I'm happy about the whole thing. We'll see where it goes from here.

i have never had a relationship before but all i can see it relationship demand sacrifices. some sacrifices that i'm not and don't want to undertake.

maybe that's because i grew up in a family where my parents marriage is unstable and the reason we are all together because of money problem.

what i see in my family gives me trauma which explains myself why i never have a relationship.
» renaye on 2007-09-05 09:44:59

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