Wow.

So yesterday I spent the day with Ben. I've been going into these things with my mind at a relaxed mindset. I'm not trying to impress him, I'm not trying to attract him, I've just been acting normal and feeling normal. Being myself... because it feels hella good to be myself.

We went to a park near his house and took a nice long walk. It was really hot out but... Nice. I don't even remember what all we talked about. Talking to him is wonderful, because we're already friends... we already know quite a bit about each other. We talk like we've known each other for years.

Well... I guess we HAVE known each other for a little over a year. But.. I guess I've never gone into a relationship with someone I was already friends with. Not without the intention of being more than friends anyway. It's really nice. I recommend it.

Anyway after the park we went back to his house and his parents were out by the pool. I said hello and stuff, and they invited me to stay and watch the basketball game with them. So I did. It was crazy. I've never actually sat and watched a basketball game before. It moves really fast. I like it. My family watches baseball.

Anyway I really like their family. I didn't get to meet his little sister though because she was away at camp.
So they turned the game off and we all watched the movie I brought over. Breach.

After the movie his parents went to sleep and Ben and I went back to his room. ;)
Lol...
I don't want to compare. but. Well. I won't compare...
Ben is just so sweet and gentleaksldkfajlsd.
That sounds like it was more than it was... It wasn't...
lets just say I am getting frustrated.
in a good way.
He looks at me with these EYES. It makes me lower my defenses... That's hard to do to me with just a look. I am not easily seduced.
It blows my mind how sweet and careful and intuitive he is. You don't see that on the outside.
He's also quiet and he thinks a lot. Which really gets my curiosity going. I probe him. I get very little. I think it's going to come down to letting my own thoughts out. Because I am the same way. I am slow to let go of my thoughts.

Every once in a while I get a twitch that this is wrong.
But I don't think it is.

Because most of the time when I am with him it feels right. It feels right like it's been sitting there, waiting to happen for a long while. And now it finally is.

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