Ever feel like you wish you didn't know yourself?

If somehow, you could just avoid facing your flaws. Only needing to celebrate the elements of your being that make you an interesting and good person. That's what I've always done. It's what keeps me happy.

But now... Honestly, I don't even know what to say to myself. I know I need to say something... I'm falling into a black hole of ignorance.

I've said so many things I didn't mean
and meant so many things that I never said.

I knew all this lying would catch up to me eventually... but who knew it'd hurt so bad

This life, to me, has been some complex scheme built around my center. (but we are all the center of our own reality, right? I guess I won't hold that against myself) But what regard have I had for those centers of reality aroud me?

I don't know.

I've lost my flair of confidence. I feel no concrete backing to what I've just said above. I can account for none of it.

I don't know who I am.

or what the fuck to do.

I need some help.
and honestly... I have no idea where to turn.

;/
i've been passing through this stage a million & 1/2 times. Sometimes it could really get so emo. too emo even. But whenever i do feel this way about myself and everything that makes "me" wrong, i just think of all the good stuff i've ever had and all the people who thought of me even fo just a sec. It really do helps. And when things get real real real tough, even if it really sounds cheesy, the Big Boss is up there, just waiting. :P

(And this is coming from a self-confessed narcissist eh?)hehe

help? Nutang-ers available. :D
» frostbitten on 2006-09-03 03:54:14

You turned to us. ^-^

I understand. I get really depressed and frustrated. Because it feels like there's nothing you can do. You just want someone to notice you and your pain. Scared to ask for help and know you need it all the same. It comes and goes.

My advice? Take a deep breath and turn to a hobby of yours, whatever it is. I use books cuz I love them. Somewhere along the way, I forget and cheer up. Hope it works for you. =]
» Silver-dot- on 2006-09-03 05:47:13

I've felt that I didn't really know myself. Heck, I just felt that friday night. But at least that I can say that you're better than me. Because I never had a flair of confidence, not even a tiny smudge of it. I've said and done a lot of things that I didn't mean just to get attention. But there's so much more that I've wanted to say and do that my life would've been totally different if I hadn't been so introverted. Sometimes I feel that I'm just a blob in the world while every single person out there is this great fantastic work of art.

but like silver-dot said, you turned to us. And I hope that there's a nutanger out there that can really give you good advice. Because as much as I want to help you, I'm like totally worthless in this area of being.

Hope you feel better,
» thisdisease on 2006-09-03 08:41:34

Heavy.

I wish I had come down for labor day so we could hang out with Jess for old times sake.


We have old times. Wierd, huh?
» Dilated on 2006-09-03 11:08:24

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