A combination of things have been weighing down my mind lately. I'm not quite sure how to deal with all of them, if I even can deal with all of them.

Like any sixteen year old girl would, I am secretly craving a relationsip for the summer. I won't lie to myself about this, and I have to admit that. But I think probable reasons for the strength in this desire are the other insecurities I have. This being a craving for a distraction, rather than an actual relationship.

There are just people, and personalities buzzing around my head right now, and I can't stop to look... Everything moves so fast.
Maybe I'm caught in a moment of insecurity...
but maybe my insecurties are truth.

I have always wanted to be strong all the way through, I have admiration for this trait... It is so hard for me to master.

---

I called Matt while I was at McDonalds, and he told me he wanted to reschedule for next week. I know it's not his fault, his mom is sick.

My head hurts, and my stomach is sour.

I just wanted to keep dreaming
I'm afraid of the real world.

Like any sixteen year old boy, I'm craving some money. No relationship, but a distraction might work. A distraction I can buy, with some money.. Gah, day.. two? Or three, without speaking to Ashley. I miss you.
» Dilated on 2004-06-06 01:11:24

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