I got this idea off of a book. I plan on writing from the day I met Jilana to now. This is where I tell the whole truth. In my head I had choices, choices of almost making it a fairytale or what really happened in details. The reason why I chose this is because I want to realize why I don't deserve Jilana, my love till this word's death. Maybe I did deserve her at first but then proved the fact that I don't deserver her. I'm weak, very dishonest. So far the only one who knows me is Irene who will forever be my best friend. She will be the only one to set her eyes on all these words. The trick to all this writing is slow confess all my lies that have blinded Jilana form seeing me and this calss for all of the lies she doesn't know now and so far there are so many. She only knows two lies that I have gotten caught from but there are a million of them. Ok, I'm overexaggerating but there's so many. Enough of that, Jilana shouldn't even be friends with me. I don't deserve it. But for some reason, if I could have her again I'd do so many things to make up for every lie.

I'm a believer of God. I love Christ. I want to be more like him; honest and humble. I'm still lost in myself and my sould and I admit there are times when I did not recognize Christ. I love to ask Christ, why? But I know I shouldn't. I'm good at faking y friends that I'm the most happiest but when I'm alone I'm beaten to the core. I'd love God to save me from this. I leave everythind to him yet I'm so hardheaded. Can he forgive me? Yes, but i take too much of it for granted. I don't believe in religion because I honestly think it's a perfect excuse for business and social things like gossip and showing off. I'm more of faith. I don't need religion when I have faith. I know Jesus Christ that you feel my words in this writing and I'm sorry, I love you.

So there you have it, Nikko Deleon: a dishonest, selfish, showy jerk.

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