i think one of the things that has made it so hard for me to believe that you are you is because i have a hard time understanding your fear of me.

when we were together i don't think i ever saw a point where you looked afraid. you never came across as shy or bashful, but i imagine that i wouldn't have allowed it anyhow since i am so bold and assertive.

even in a crowded club you didn't seem uncomfortable, so it is hard for me to understand your fear. i never saw it in your face. when you were looking at me i only saw you.

even the last day was no more awkward than any other first date, so how could you be so afraid now?
but i do remember your stare. when you looked at me i felt like your concentration was rare and penetrating. the whole world melted away and it was just you and i that afternoon. even at medival times, i didn't see it. i only remember laughing with you at everyone else. and i remember how much fun we had.

i never knew about your tumultous feelings inside. i only remember your smile. i didn't see the shock from attention or the lack of confidence you talk about now. you seemed comfortable with me, even when we were so new. and i was comfortable with you. it was strange, but it felt like home and it felt like we were old friends rather than new.

all i knew was that i wanted more of your attention. i wanted more of you; what ever you would give me. i loved that you answered my questions. and i loved that you asked your own. i loved that you let me touch you. and i loved when you pounced on me when we were finally alone.
i remember you preaching about Dio. and how shocked you were when i knew nothing about him.

wouldn't it just be like that again? wouldn't we just pick up where we left off in conversation? that is all i want.
you and i are both misfits. but together we made sense.

so what is there to fear? i only want you closer to me. i only want to be closer to you. i want to be yours. i am yours. can't you see that? won't you be mine?

i am not a puzzle that needs to be solved. i am not a judge. i am not a monkey in cage you are testing on.
i just want to love you. i just want you to come back so we can start again. i haven't been right since we parted. and i know you feel the same way.

good luck.
» Dilated on 2007-10-07 03:12:51

thank you. was that for him or me?
» mygreatescape on 2007-10-08 11:05:40

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