You took my voice away.


Once you were my muse and inspiration was too much to write down. But you haunting me left me mute. I have no songs to sing and no emotion to release into them. I hate you for being so cruel and heartless.

I hate you for leaving me. No distance would be too great but it doesn’t matter since you can’t meet me half way. I pour my heart out to you and you mock me. You are only pleased when I break down.

How can you say you love me when you are trying to deny it? how can you say you care when all you have done in the past three years is lie, mock, and deceive me?

I loved you with out question for so long and slowly you have taken that too. Now all I have are questions and anger from your games. You told me the man I loved didn’t exist. You told me he didn’t care.

You have yet to speak to me. Any coward should be able to see love through his fear. But instead you treat me like an enemy trying to infect you with a disease.

Well good luck trying to find someone who will try half as much as I did. All I wanted was to love you. I tried for so long to earn your love. But I see now that no matter the tests I pass or the riddles I solve, it will never be enough for you.

I see now that what you have for me is not love. If you loved me you wouldn’t judge me. And if you trusted me, you wouldn’t test me.

This whole time you have been waiting for me to fail you. Now, that I haven’t you don’t know what to do because you are afraid to admit to me and you that what you did was fucked up. It makes me sad that you would throw away OUR happiness on account of your pride.

Wow, you would rather push me away than apologize. You are just going to leave and try to forget about me. There is a reason you haven’t forgotten me. And I guess it never sunk in that we would have been great. So fine. Leave me then. Leave me completely so I can forget about you too.

Because heaven forbid you have to make any decisions about anything, especially the sentiments of your heart. You are much more comfortable ignoring your heart. I understand not wanting to be vulnerable. And partly I can understand your protection, but what you have yet to comprehend is that I am not lying. I am not deceiving you. I want your love. Not just a weekend. Not just sex. Not your money.

But no matter what I say, you won’t believe me. And your fear won’t let you try. Deep down I know you care about me too. And I know that you feel half alive too. But I can’t convince you. We have to live it. No games and no amount of pretending will ever show you that I have always been for real.


And as long as you push me away, we will never get closer. Almost doesn’t count. Either you jump or you don’t. And since you insist on wearing concrete shoes jumping isn’t easy even if you do want to. You forget that you can already fly. I wish I could help you untie your shoes so we could jump together. But you won’t let me hold your hand.

I jumped and hit the bottom. I am out of energy and out of hope. I have no reason to scale the cliff and jump again if you are not jumping.

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