if you are not taking this time to spend focusing on school, then what is keeping you from me?

if you are still following me around and playing games and not taking this time to spend on school, then why have you not come back to me?

this makes no sense. coming back to me is a good thing. but you treat it as a sentencing.
i have run out of ways to beg. i have run out of ways to ask why.
i don't understand why if you want this too why you treat it as a horrible thing. it hurts me that you feel that way because it is not the case at all. and i don't know how to convince you otherwise unless we try again. but because you hesitate i feel like it is not what you want at all. and your silence has told me no different.

i am tired of crying. i pour my heart out to you everyday and i have yet to hear a word from you. i want a boyfriend and if you aren't willing, let me know please. because i don't understand why you would want to stall your happiness. that makes no sense. furthermore, you snuff my happiness by staying away and only haunting me from a distance.

i can't wait for someone that isn't coming. now that i know you are listening, you can't pretend not to hear me.

what happens when you graduate? i really want to go to your graduation, but i feel like you don't want me there. i mean, if you don't want me in your life then how could you want me to participate in you life's events? i feel like you want me to stay a secret. it makes me feel like you are ashamed of me. but if that is not the case, then why would you continue to allow it?

i mean, is all this is you not being able to apologize? seriously? is there some one else that you want? if you want me and i want you then why are not allowing us to try again?

are you just waiting to graduate so you can move away and forget that you want me too? Do you feel like you don't deserve a shot at happiness? or is it happiness you fear? i don't understand that but i am sure i could if you helped me.

but you won't even give me the satisfaction of hearing your voice. i saw through you charades and i found you even when you were hiding from me. i knew your words even when i did not hear you speak and you still pushed me away. i am tired of living with you as a memory. i am tired of pretending. you said you would stop pretending and you haven't.

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