my biggest fear is to end up living a life amongst the masses. i feel like my life should hold so much more than anything average. i don't know where my stars will take me and how i will get there. i am willing to work and sacrifice what ever i need to in order to achieve my dreams. but it seems like recently, i have made the wrong choices and all the planning i have worked for have turned out to be nothing.

god, let me keep my inner strength so i can continue in search of my destiny. do i reach too high? is that possible? do i just need patience and the will to keep going?

i see so many around me quietly take their place in the masses and i just won't let myself believe that is all i have left for me.

i have three weeks until my life changes, and what then? have i missed my opportunity with out even knowing it? is there any other way, and will i come across that? i hate this, part of me feels like such a fool. had i gone the easy way out, things would have been better, but i still would be just like them. so what then, will the answers ever come?

i hate this. i hate waiting. i hate not knowing what to focus on or go for.

i just wish something in my life could go correctly for a change. i keep hitting walls that are unclimbable and too thick to break. and so i wait, and remember that expecting a change won't make it happen. god, please give me strength and the wisdom to make the right decisions when they come.

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