so i have made the calls. i have left voicemails. he is gone. i can feeling the distance between us getting larger. i want to lay in my bed and cry. but at least now i know that he was only a ghost. even if he was there and if he does love me, no matter what i do, he is not coming back. i just don't understand why he keeps wanting to run away. he went through all this trouble to find me, (or i found him, but wasn't supposed to) and now he is going to San Diego. to me, nothing would be too far. as i struggle to fight the tears back i wish i could beg you to stay. but that is what i have been doing this entire time. i have waited for more than a year for some type of sign that you wanted me back. and i still don't know if i have only heard my own echo this entire time. i hate your games and your stupid stubborness. so you push me away so you don't have to feel anything. well fine then. walk away from me, but this time when you look back i won't be there. i love you and i probably always will on some level. goodbye.

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