so it seems he doesn't want anything to do with me. fine then, i mean i was still unsure if it was cheese steak, but i suppose it doesn't even matter now. he doesn't want me and there is nothing i can do about that. i can't change myself to make him notice me because then he wouldn't be seeing me. again, no matter what i do, i won't be good enough for that one. i give up and that sucks. but i have no other choice. i don't want to wait for some one that isn't coming. eventually, i suppose i will stop caring about him, and i think the only way to do that is to move on. he must not see my worth and there is nothing i can do to change that. I love you. and i stayed because i thought there might be a chance i could change your mind. but if you don't want me in your life i will not be made the fool. this was your choice and i will obey despite my soul's cry. i won't lie, the first time i saw you, we were dancing at our wedding and i wanted so much for that to come true. and i would have had you in my life how ever you desired, but i guess not. push me away and i am leaving. you are cruel, but i am stronger than you think. i seek a love that fills my heart and makes me whole. i desire an equal that encourages me and supports me. some one to grow old with who will never leave my side. some of my friends ask me why i don't just date people to date, but i don't date as a source of entertainment. i seek a mate that brings life to my heart again. i guess i will just keep looking until i find some one that wants the same. although playmates occasionally stop by, they pass all the same. so i will wait for some one that sees my worth and desires the love i do. some one that gives his heart as i would mine. i don't think that is too much to ask. my problem is that when i love, i see only them. it is only a problem because sometimes the love is not returned. and i know one day i may love again, and perhaps then he will love me too. we will give eachother strength that cannot be matched and together we will conquer the world. until then.

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