Well I havent been really nice latley. Yesterday, I was still treating Tabby kinda mean.. I dont mean too but ugh I dont know. Maybe something is wrong with me? My mom came in and started to yell and cry about who I am. She tells me that she knows me, that Im this girl who fakes my happiness in front of my friends but when in reality I am actually broken and empty inside and that I have no emotion.
whatever, maybe its true but I dont want to hear it.
Ive been drawing...like sketching alot latley ..I only do that when im messed up in the head and Im doing it again..and the last time I ever done something like that was a year ago after Jessica left me. Ugh.
Oh yeah, so anyways, it turns out Megan likes me and is going to break up with Arianna. Maggie told me this, and also the part that Megan plan was to get with me. LoL. I actually knew this..I mean when she found out me about me and Cori she kinda flipped and was like 'be with me.' So Maggie thinks she and I should seriously hook up. I mean I can see the positive things out of this outcome, I mean for one, she goes to my school and I can see her everyday, YAY! and I dont have to worry about her cheating on me and stuff, cause I know Megan and shes a sweet girl and everything. Shes actually one of the few "bi" people I actually trust, like seriously. She never makes me feel left out or anything, shes really affectionate, and loving. She has piercings! *drools* lmao but I dont know. Theres other things..
I still do like Cori, yeah. I admit it, even though I kept denying it to Tabby, I still do but I guess I should move on because I know there wont be any chance for me and her anyways, cause I know that she dosent like me anymore and plus, even probably waiting for her I know theres other people who would want to be with her and Im pretty sure that it wouldnt be me she want to be with toward the end. So Im actually thinking maybe I should get with Megan... but I have no really the desire too.
Well whatever happens, happens.
I will let my life just flow.

Haha, very funny
it's really funny, how you think i don't like you anymore. i never stopped liking you, believe me. i still like you as much as i did before, maybe even more. like you said yourself, when i'm how i am right now, i shouldn't be in a relationship and i know i can't commit to one. but god, i really do wish i could be with you. ::sigh:: i'm sorry i'm such a screw up, i should have never come into your life.
» fierynightmares on 2004-10-19 03:12:09

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