When people hear that I'm majoring in Physics, the first question is something like, "Oh! What do you want to do with that?"

Always.

The answer is usually something along the lines of, "Er, I want to get into research. I don't know what...or with whom. But yeah! Probably research. Blowing stuff up in basements."

It's a good answer, but it reveals a fatal flaw: I still don't really know what I'm doing. I've been thinking about it, though.

My friend Sarah asked me what my strengths are (other than science and climbing trees). I said half-jokingly that there weren't any others. I've never really been good at figuring out my own strengths and weaknesses. There are some things that I like or dislike about myself, but I have a hard time picking the traits or skills that define me, one way or another. What are my strengths?

I've been told that I'm very personable, that people are generally comfortable and cheerful around me. That I'm good at making laughter, without being immature about it (usually). I've got to be good for something else...right?

Recently, I was talking to another friend about the way he drives. It's very fast and somewhat aggressive, but he insists that he's not a bad driver. I told him that it seemed like he was so sure of his skill and that of the drivers around him that he was willing to cut his safety margins because, to him, they seemed unnecessary. After a moment, he told me that was the best explanation he'd ever heard.

I do love explaining things to people, especially things that they don't think they will be able to understand. I love analogies and relationships.

Have you read the sci-fi novel Blindsight? The main character is a Synthesist. In the future, when humans have created vastly intelligent machines to probe the deep questions of the universe, there are often answers that "the people in charge" don't have the expertise to understand. A synthesist is a person who takes an idea that's unintelligible and translates it into an idea that someone can understand. What was interesting was that the synthesist doesn't have to be an expert in whatever subject he is working with; his strength is his ability to read the topology of a situation, idea, or even a person, and generalize his output based on that. The process reminds me of the Divergence theorem, if that helps any.

He was actually a really interesting character. As a child, half of his brain was removed (to cure some sort of viral epilepsy) so he's a bit estranged from humanity. He's a good synthesist because he spent his whole life watching people and developing protocols to blend in with them. That's what it comes down to: protocols. He doesn't know what anger feels like, so he has to pretend to understand what an angry person is going through, and react correctly based on previous observations. In some ways, the same applies to comprehending anything else. He just pretends to understand and reacts accordingly.

He was a Chinese Room.

It's actually a brilliant book. Delves into the meaning of consciousness, intelligence, and is pretty good sci-fi, to boot. Anyway,

I sort of connect with that. I like putting things into terms that make sense for other people. I'm not good enough to make up stuff about subjects I don't understand myself, sure. But nobody's perfect, I suppose. Modeling systems is something I enjoy, and I see now that it links to all of my passions. Physics is ALL about models, on a fundamental level. I enjoy coding because I have to take a task and break it down into its basic commands. What I did with my friend the driver was model his intentions and perceptions. I can't learn a subject that I can't organize. In fact, I have a hard time doing anything that I can't fit into some sort of intelligible paradigm. It can be rather crippling.

I told this to Sarah. The short version, of course. "I'm good at creating systems of information." It was a revelation; I've never been able to pin down that basic task in my own life. The ultimate irony is that the formless helplessness I sometimes feel when confronted with myself and my actions now has a form: I can't model myself. Being able to put it into coherent thoughts is wonderful. It explains a lot about myself, right there. Doesn't solve the problem of being crippled by new experiences and problems, but at least now I can start learning how to skirt it. And that's part of being a sythesist, right?

So you could be a teacher.
» randomjunk on 2013-06-24 12:42:10

Thanks, looking through it now.
» randomjunk on 2013-07-01 12:12:35

It's really good! Thanks for the recommendation.
» randomjunk on 2013-07-02 05:54:18

Physics has to be hard. :)
» daddysgirl on 2013-07-02 04:57:30

one of my friends in college studied physics.

instead of asking what he wanted to do with it I just bust out a, "wow you must be really smart" he just replied with "no, I just study really hard and am fascinated with discovering the new things."


» dont-see on 2013-07-02 09:27:04

I couldn't do that. Too hard. But if you enjoy it..
» daddysgirl on 2013-07-03 06:25:57

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