Painful, painful memories.... can never escaape them. Life is lonely and pointless right now. Can I die now, please? The tortures i've faced are plenty enough of a sign you want me to... so can you kill me now? Oh, and according to my neurologist and my MRI, I could have brain cancer near my brain stem. Yep, maybe I finally can. that is what joe had in his journal entry...if this is all true...i don't think i can deal with it again...losing someone that i love hurts me so much...it has already happened...i know that if it does, i won't be able to deal with it...i don't know what to do right now...

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