last night joe asked about the first guy that i ever cared about...i told him a little bit, but not the whole story...it hurts to talk about it, but now that he brought it up, it is on my mind. the guy was a very beautiful person...i had just started to care for him when i met joe....but he had a girlfriend that he cared about...then i started to get feelings for joe....so then when joe asked me out, i said yes...then later on, everyone that the guy cares about starts to betray him, except for me...he admitted that he had feelings for me...but it was too late, i loved joe...so yeah...then the guy killed himself...that is most of what happened...joe promised that he would never do that to me...that he would never give up as long as i am here for him...i hope so...i don't think i could deal with it happening to me again

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