no snowflake is like another...
How much people change, grow up, develope and how our enviornmental factors creates our personality (Erikson)... is fascinating. It made me think about my growing up... what I gained from my parents such as trust vs mistrust, autonomy vs guilt and dependence, etc... and it created who I am versus someone like Tim who is an opposite extreme in how he faces the world and interactions with people and I can understand whyyy people could think that way if they have never known anything diff.
Looking back... Amanda is talking to her friend from Cali on the phone about her old middle school friends and how she doesn't understand how she was ever friends with them at the time. I think my values have stayed the same over all so my friends were always part of the same "clique" and if anything, by senior year became more diverse and by college, wayyy eclectic.
Sure there are cliques but they do not apply so much, u are free to intereact with whoever u want one on one and in class. I think we are divided more by our majors (and that alone sys something about our values, morals, interests) than we are social standing or clothing choices.
In Lit class today we were talking about Richard Corey the poem and how so many people we had known who were "the" person to be, the hottest guy, the football player, top of class, success bound person committed suicide and how what SEEMS to be perfect isn't. How we all wear a certain mask around everyday as to who we are, and that is why I am all about communication and being an open book. Sure I might not tell my professor exactly how I feel when they ask in passing, but a friend... I will if they want to know. What you see is mostly what you get, and if u pry deep enough it is all u get.
I try to let people not feel like they have to wear a mask around me either, try to make them an open book. I guess that is where my honesty is the best policy thing comes in. I want people to feel like they can be who they reallly really are around me and not pretend. I know that we all pretend to an extent somedays, just because it is easier. But since I want to be accepted just the way I am, and I finding out more and more that I can be, that I am, I only expect the same from others.
I have found over the year being at college that u can be whoever u want to be and the easiest person TO be, is urself. I never in my dreams thought that I had a sense of humor and some would say I still don't, but at college, I find myself saying things I never would've before and I think some of that is picked up from the people I talk to everyday and their sense of humor. It is a huge self esteem booster to feel like u don't have to pretend to act some way that u were held to in high school or elementary school anymore, and be liked even more! It builds confidence and for me, it has made me MORE me and MORE open.
Sure I might not be the "old" meghan as much anymore, one thing that I remember tlaking to Tom about one night, but as he said, the "old" meghan never was so critical of herself as this "new" one is, and so I am trying to not be so afraid to move foward in my own personal growth and embrace who I am becoming rather than be afraid that I am changing for the worse. Changes come in all shapes and sizes, just like jeans, and sometimes life calls for a pint of ben and jerrys so u throw on the relaxed fit jeans and sometimes it calls for being proud of urself and so u put on the tight ass hipp huggers. hahah wow that was a horrible analogy but maybe u get the point.
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