.... not. I am stressed. I am stressed cuz I don't know if I will have time to a decent job on all the homework I have to do. I just spent 1 1/2 hours reading and I not only got 30 out of the 80 pages needed to be read, but I have no fuckin clue WHAT I read bc I had to go sit in the hallway on a pillow for goodness sake cuz my roomie has to go to bed early.. and by early I mean this girl hit the sack at 10pm... I didn't get back from depositing money for me and three other girls (cuz they only had cash and i was the only one with a checkbook) for my room next year. $390 freakin dollars I wrote out checks for today. I am stressing about money... obviously. I am stressing out about school work and I am already behind in the third week back. I am stressing cuz people are just so gosh darn loud and obnoxious around here. Having some chick coughing for two hours in the bathroom gets on ur nerves after a while, so does flirty, laughy, loud ditsy girls talking on their cell phones to their one of ten boyfriends. I think I am finally getting sick too... I am way too sore for the actual amount of work I did the past two days and I am getting more congested than normal. MY headaches are still here however Court gave me a person to contact. I am stressed bc my mom has been trying to figure out how to get me home and back next weekend via train and shuttle.. the trip will be about 6 1.2 hours but cost less than if my dad drove here. This weekend is gonna BLOW cuz everyonnnnne is leaving: kara, kate, katie, bethany, amanda, ashley... and those are the only ppl who are ever around and hang out with on a regular basis. So for three days no one to eat meals with or do anything with.. and I remember from the other times when Amanda was gone, it gets very depressing living in a room by urself. I am already cranky from my recently accelerated stress level... being in a dorm by urself for that many hours is nto good. I got offered to go home with ppl but I really have a lot of work to catch up on that I know won't get done if I did go home with Kate or Katie. My sleeping patterns are so screwd up, I have been waking up at 2am ready to start my day and not being able to sleep anymore.. hence the reason why I was at the gym so early every morning, just so I had something to do. What else is there to complain about in my 10 minute break from insanity... VM rehearsals are taking up my lunch time now too.... so that sucks. I have lectures to go to at night, classes at night, work after my last school class,....I leave around 8 or 9am and don't return for more than a pee break until 8pm or later. I liked being busy but not when my school work suffers... and it is. shit. The only good thing about today was that Dr. Cindy LaCom invited me to attend the Women's Center Seminar/dinner thingy feb 15th at 5pm with her as a guest... I thought that was really nice of her. I hate that I am falling behind in HER class out of all classes, esp since she KNOWS what I can do. Work right now feels like a waste of time since there aren't any odds and ends to do. I am missing our big HIV awareness day cuz I will be on a train coming back here from home. I don't know what I need.. maybe for time to stop still, or caffine pills, or a brain that wasn't so bi polar... something. Ontop of that other shit just has to creep up... distracting me and stuff... the usual. I need a change. I need something... anything.... a hug would be nice, or a reminder, or a smile.... ugh. This blows and I have shit to get back to. Sorry for the pessamistic entry, I'll try better when I get the chance.

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» Casey (222.124.5.82) on 2011-07-10 01:00:26

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