Thursday. 11.4.04 3:04 pm
Stuff that kept me awake last night---
- trying to figure out how to stretch limited time to spend with many people.
- thinking if postponing the rest of my life to earn another degree is worth it
- taking 18 credits a semester for the next 3 1/2 maybe forced to do 4 years plus a heavy summer school load and a job, so I can earn two degrees and meet my Physical Therapy pre requisits for graduate school... is it STILL worth it?
- How becoming a Doctor (earning my PhD) has suddenly become very important to me, in whatever field I end up in.
- realizing that I need to do more extra-curricular activities to make myself a well balanced person
- wishing I could fit dancing into my schedual but knowing that it is impossible
- Wondering if lax will interfere with my school work
- wishing I had an answer better than..." it's time for u to think of urself, be selfish and let things happen as they do, don't ignore ur feelings." that doesn't mean I don't think that that is the best thing to do, it's just I feel bad not having a nicer answer, but then again, life's situations are not always nice.
- wondering if it is even possible to work, commute and take classes?
- many concerns about my roomie
Stuff that kept you awake last night-
- contemplating to or not to, that is the question.
enchanting2215 (1:50:51 PM): hahaha no its us
enchanting2215 (1:51:14 PM): come on, u take two gurls and separte them, and then take away all their other friends (males)...
meggyo86 (1:51:23 PM): true
enchanting2215 (1:51:45 PM): the only thing is....our guys are irreplaceable
meggyo86 (1:51:48 PM): true
enchanting2215 (1:52:01 PM): damn them
meggyo86 (1:52:04 PM): hahaha
meggyo86 (1:52:08 PM): damn them for being so awesome!
enchanting2215 (1:52:13 PM): haahaha
enchanting2215 (1:52:23 PM): whitey would enjoy that compliment lol
meggyo86 (1:52:31 PM): hehehe
I am so thankful and appreciative of the relationship I still have with my friends. How we still have these awesome conversations, help each other out (or try to), listen, vent, scream, complain, whatever! It's just like back in the old days, where we are an open book.... there for anything and everything. If we were still in hershey I can guarentee that we would be driving over each other's houses with pints of ice cream possibley a chick flick too or going for walks around the neighborhoods right now.
Right now it looks so shitty outside and I am eating chocolate... hahah ohhhh man. Not so good. I had some dreams last night... quite... I dunno.
Anyway, I am getting nothing done so I need to figure out what I need to do and do it. For college writing I get to edit a photo how I want and write a story about it, I think I know which one I want to do but I'm gonna look for more.
Today is the type of day that I miss being home... where I could curl up on the couch with my lax fleece blanket, in a hoodie, watching some ridiculous movies like Disney, eating shit I shouldn't and hopefully with some awesome ppl (even if it was just one) there with me. Instead I am in a dorm room, alone, my roomie is off studying and being mad at her mom for emailing her coach with a concern about her health (which is now my concern too), looking out the window at a grey, rainy sky thinking, I wish I wasn't here.
I think it is hard for me to find friends here like those from hershey bc they were the ones to help me thru a lot of growing, they witnessed it and therefore know my habits, tendencies, know when to kick me back into a mental set, know when something is wrong, and even know what it is. I feel like everyone here is always in such a rush to stop and make those deep connections. *sigh*
It's been a very thought provoking, nastalgic day where I got to reconnect with two close friends. Thanks, it was quite enjoyable.
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